Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Should we split


Cross posted in r/family but would like an input from people who have gone through a divorce.My (35f) husband (38m) and I have been together for 18 years. We have 2 kids ages 7 and 10. There have been many issues throughout our relationship, such as cheating (both sides) and lying and being broke and fighting but recently (few years) things have sort of calmed down and most of the bullshit stopped.We were both heavy smokers, both cigarettes and marijuana, but over the last few years I have first quit smoking cigarettes, and then pot and I now find myself questioning our relationship (possibly because of having a clear head). I find that we have nothing in common, we like to spend our time doing different things: I read, he watches annoying tv shows, I like to dance and hike, he likes to sit around and smoke, I like to have a clean house, he doesn't seem to care or put any effort into it other than tell me and our kids to do the cleaning. I like to have friends over/be social/go out, he likes to be alone or just with me and the kids. I love spending time with my parents and sister, he can't stand his. Even more recently (with the arrival of corona) he's decided he doesn't want to put a lot of effort into making money in our joined business and literally does nothing without me being involved. Our kids are distance learning at home (he was the main decision maker in that) and I am the main carer and helper for them, along with being the only cook, maid, driver, person that does all the shopping, all the laundry.I feel like I'm taking care of 3 children and I am so sick of it. I don't have a career of my own as I stayed home for the first 6 years after our first was born and we started a business together shorly after that, but the reality is I can't contribute as much time and effort as I used to to the business with kids learning from home so he has stopped too and now we can barely pay our bills. I don't want to leave our kids without a wholesome family but at the same time I'm angry at him most of the time for sitting around smoking pot to the point where I am seriously considering leaving. I don't know how to move forward.Thank you all for reading and any advice/view from an outsider is much appreciated. via /r/Divorce https://ift.tt/3le6qJQ

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