Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Dad is diagnosed with cancer. Trying to stay out of the family's old dysfunctional family!!


tl;dr Family is dysfunctional. Don't want to get involved, but need to help my dad financially.Hi,My dad is just diagnosed with a severe form of cancer (stage IV B). I live in a different country and due to the covid restriction and his immunocompromised situation, prefer not to go back at this time. However, I am financially trying to help them.Our family used to be extremely dysfunctional. I left when I was 18 and tried to be as far as I could. I built a family, have kids, work, and try to not recall the pain and scars.Now that my dad is diagnosed with cancer (and my parents are not very financially capable), I have stepped in to help them financially. For some reason, once I started financially, my siblings (both single, quite bad mannered) had become quite passive aggressive with me (I havent had relationship with them for last 10 years. No positive interaction nor a negative one. Tried to keep my boundary.). They try all techniques to get me hooked back in, toxic shame, guild provocation, verbal abuse, controlling/manipulative behavior.I really dont want to suck back into the crappy black hole. However, I want to give a hand to them. My siblings are young and I really dont want them to be negatively impacted by all these. I have been having a hard time keeping myself from sinking in that dynamic, and getting them out of my mental space. It is like I am again 14 and being abused by them. Every day I wake up with a text from them and lose my enthusiasm through the day.Any advice? Any suggestions? via /r/relationships https://ift.tt/2Fd1GFa

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