When they have to have an arranged marriage

I dated an indian guy once from actual India. I say from ACTUAL India  because if you know, YOU KNOW. Most of the time, indian parents choose a suitable spouse for their kids and arrange their marriage. Indians living outside of Indian, many times, are more open to dating outside of their race, etc. But Indian INDIANS, this is all they know. Their parents have been saving and preparing for that for all their life. They know that this is what they must do. Also, family bonds are so important to them. Disobeying or going against their parents rules and community expectations is difficult for them. Unlike us. We just do our own shit. Anyway, so these indian guys and girls come to other countries and go FUCKING wild. They are away from the expectations of their communities and family for the first. For the first time, they can actually date someone without the expectation of marriage immediately. They can date someone of a different race, nationality, etc. I don’t think you understand. Indian INDIANS can’t even marry other Indian INDIANS if they are of a different caste, state, social class, religion. And if all those thngs, by chance, line up perfectly, if your horoscope readings don’t match up then you’re fucked!Indian INDIANS are the experts at forbidden fruit because everyone is forbidden for them. So they come here, go wild then, ultimately, go home to marry whoever their parents have chosen. So, here I was dating this guy and imagined that my black Caribbean ass would actually be acceptable to this Alladin looking motherfucker’s family. You see, for us, nothing is really forbidden. The most scandalous thing for me would be if I dated a white guy. No one would stop it but people may raise an eyebrow and the women in my family would constantly ask me about his sexual prowess (weird, right?) but life goes on. So for me, dating this Alladin looking mf was the closest I ever got to a forbidden fruit. To his merit, he never lied to me though. I say we  “dated for a year and a half”, he says we’re “just two best friends who love and care for eachother and have mind blowingly passionate sex”. Tomato, tomato. He also fought with his parents each weekend when they had their videocall. They would present him with the profile of a beautiful, well educated Indian INDIAN girl and he would tell them that he doesn’t want to get married now. They would bark at him that he’s getting older and over 29, men become a hopeless case. He would argue for hours with them and come off the phone with a headache. I always felt sorry for him. But, gradually, I realized that it will never be me. When he gets married “their way” he is set up financially. I could never offer him that. I’m not even set up financially. He will also be supported by his family and seen positively within his community. All I can offer him is love. And I don’t even know if this love is enduring or if I will love him forever. Anyway, I decided to let it go. There is no room for growth. And honestly, I just hope that he can find someone who meshes well with his personality to love. I intended to deal with my emotions through making jokes about it  but I’m just gonna end it right here because now I’m sad. via /r/nocontact https://ift.tt/2GpyqLR