Living without a purpose

Born in a third world country. Ever since i was a kid, my parents would never let me go out alone until i hit 18 which has wrecked me in every possible way.. i have no hobbies. I always feel lonely and i've really done nothing for all those 20 years that i've livedMy family is quite poor so i never knew what it felt like to have a phone until i was 17, i never enjoyed a single day in my life without having some dark thoughts creep in on me.I have no goals and i'm never motivated to do anything and i've thought about ending it all a lot of times but having been brought up in a religious environment, i think i still fear the "hell" that awaits those who commit it.I wish my life had meaning. Not to sound narcissistic but i don't want to die as just a number on the death toll, i don't want to live my life as an insignificant person.I hope that one day, i wake up and feel like that i've truly made it. I want to reflect about my misery with a smile and think, "I was such a dumb kid"All i want is a purpose in life, something that keeps me going. via /r/self https://ift.tt/3nobjlx