Long sorrySo I married my boyfriend about 7 months after we started dating. He and I had a connection like I haven’t had with anyone else. I love him so much throughout the relationship there were red flags but I ignored them I felt like he truly loved me. He is my best friend everything. I loved being with him. I’m 26 he is 28. Last year he went to a baseball tournament in AZ and I saw he was calling a number (can see through our phone carrier) non stop I eventually called it was a woman and she told me they had kissed. So I packed all his shit and he came home and I was pretty strong and very very hurt. When I love I love with everything I have. He cried and begged and said he would do anything anything. I decided let’s try marriage counseling I’m willing to try and make this work. We went once and the counselor told him you have a really good girl here. My husband claimed he didn’t like the guy and didn’t wanna go more. And I just agreed and figured I can figure this out because I have already chosen to stay. It was great for a while but then again not so great. He would tell me things like shut up or fuck you. He would turn it around on me until I apologized just because it was easier. The moments that were good were so good. I am a needy person in the love and touch type of way. The facial caresses and the look of love in his eyes made it all go away. We live in WA state(I was born here he is from Venezuela). I have a trust not a lot but enough for a decent home and we had a plan to where I would buy us a home in flordia (in about 6 months or so) and he would work pay the bills and we could go to universal etc the first year just enjoy it and then start having babies after. I just want to be a mom I love kids. He has always had a problem keeping jobs. He would get a job (he works construction) and then the job would finish and the next would be 1.5/2 hours away. He didn’t want to drive that far which I get but he always would tell me it’s my fault he lost his job because I would refuse to move more south. I recently just stopped working (nanny) because kids were starting school and I am not a teacher nor do I want to try that. But during the times of his jobs changing I had a job 40 hours a week with really good money. Enough I have saved about $7,000 in 5 months. And it seemed like his jobs weren’t permanent and I was on a contract. I told him he could get a lesser paying job around here because I made enough to supplement plus the rent here is much cheaper than south. Anyways when he would get angry he always threatened to leave go to a different state or back to Venezuela etc. when he gets mad I can see a switch flip and his eyes change. In March he got angry and bought a ticket to New York to live with his friend and I cried and cried and then he snapped out of it and returned his ticket and kind of apologized while putting it on me at the same time. I was so happy he stayed. In late august he got angry again and said he was going to flordia and drove to the airport (2 hours away) and again I was crying calling begging him to not leave hyperventilating even. Eventually he came home. After that I just realized I can never do that again if he wants to leave that’s your answer. So on Tuesday he woke me up and said good news we can go to flordia so he can play a baseball tournament nov 9. I said I think it’s kind of a bad idea money is tight and the plan is to save as much as possible before we move for travel, a new bed and couch. (I am also receiving $1,600 a month from my trust because I’m not working so I still pay half the bills and a couple hundred left over to save or use for food) he freaked out saying he was going I can’t remember what else and he said he is going now to Miami and I told him twice very calmly that I don’t want him to go and he needs to think about what he is doing he just kept telling me fuck you. He left and blocked me. Later that night unblocked me to say it’s my fault he lost the best job of his life (at a lot of times we didn’t have an extra $4,000 to up and move to a new place and now why would we move we are in month to month and hoping to buy a home in December). He flew to miami. He called me the next day and I told him he needed to send me my computer (he took my laptop) and he said he would in three weeks I said no way. Then I just told him I had to go because I had started crying and telling him I’m done he left me. 30 min later he called me back saying he was sorry please not to cry it was a mistake. He doesn’t have any money and his plan was to just go 3 days to go to a shipping company there to send a package to his mom then come back. Completely contradicted what he said before. I just told him I have more value than that. He texted me last night saying shit and asking what my plans were I told him he should stay there because he doesn’t have anything where I live. He was pissed/upset and asked if that’s what I really want and I told him yes. I have given myself completely to him. I grew up with my parents being toxic to me and each other I told myself I would be the opposite. I worked so fucking hard to be the best wife possible. I am a strong person I have been through a lot. I stopped talking to my parents 5 years ago because they were toxic and horrible to me. And I allowed another narcissist back into my life. I love him with all I have and I know this isn’t over because he’s going to realize how serious I am. I told him I want a divorce. I’m so hurt I have been crying. All I have is my sister and my one best friend and of course Jesus. I just don’t know how to get through this. Do you have any advice. We had a whole future planned out and I feel like the walls are caving in. I have never loved someone so deeply. I feel like I can never love someone like this again. Any idea how you can get through this? Any advice appreciated and similar stories. Thank youEdit: we have been together a little more than 3 years via /r/relationship_advice https://ift.tt/36NU1Zg
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