Is My Way of Coping Healthy/Normal?

When I was born in 1991, my parents were somewhat poor, so they could never spend time with me. My mom worked a job, and my dad worked two. When they were around, our relationship didn't feel loving at all. Like they cooked and cared for me to keep me alive, not enjoy my being alive. My older sister, born in 1984, was always out partying, so we could never talk either.In 1998, I was labeled "gifted" due to my interest in science, IQ of 131, and well-above-average performance in school. I had some friends, but I was always seen as the "boring girl," so none of them ever spent time with me. I skipped the second, third, fifth, and eleventh grade, so I got to go to college when I was 15 in the autumn of 2006.As a kid, I always loved mathematics and logic puzzles, so I studied personal finance, accounting, and microeconomics in college. In college, I had one close friend, but they were 19 and had to care for their grandmother with Alzheimer's, so we could never spend time. When she died in 2007, I went to their funeral.I graduated in June of 2010, and the following month, I was hired at a local financial firm. I worked around the clock, like my parents, and soon attained enough money to buy my own home in March of 2011. The following month, I completely regressed, out of nowhere.Spontaneously, I went from a dull accountant lady spending her "partying years," helping people with their stocks to what I am now. When I wasn't at work, (where I was able to be "dull accountant lady"), I was basically a kid. I watched cartoons, spent a huge chunk of my free time riding hopper balls, and on Saturday, would blow up a huge bouncy castle (that I still have today and am typing after a really fun time on) and hop around in it, I would eat candy and wear tutus. I still sleep with teddy bears.My community has shunned me ever since. The humiliation grew to the point where I attempted to end my own life in 2018.Over the lockdown, with the help of some Redditors, I figured out why I act like this; I had an extremely dull childhood. Cold parents, no friends, always years younger than my classmates. Now I'm trying to reclaim it. To make my adulthood bouncy, colorful, and semi-debaucherous. I love it, but is it healthy? via /r/offmychest https://ift.tt/34kuwM9