I wish I had another chance

My (27M) big brother (34M) passed away about a month ago. We were separated when I was 5 or so when our parents died. Nearly 20 years go by and we finally get in contact again. We struggled to connect as much as we would have liked because so much time had gone by and we both had very different lives. But we knew we loved each other. Over time, our conversations got very strange and he started to behave erratic. Fast forward to now, he’s gone. I found out that he had drug induced psychosis. He had a difficult childhood, too many heartaches and turned to drugs.I wish I did something.I wish I reached out when he clearly needed helpI wish I connected with him moreI wish I had a chance to play with him as a kid againI wish I was the one to find mum dead that dayI wish I was the one that had to watch my brother get taken awayWhy??It’s not fair.https://youtu.be/tI-5uv4wryI via /r/SuicideBereavement https://ift.tt/3ik2Iwr