BackgroundI am nearly 29 and I still live with my parents,i know it is embarrassing, I am a recovering alcoholic of 5 years and it basically wiped any progress off the board for most of my 20's. I was never violent with parents or stole from them, I would do stupid things on nights out and nearly ended up in prison one night for destroying the inside of an office while in blackout.I have been makings strides to improve myself, I have nearly gotten my driving licence, I have my own business that is making me $500 a month and is growing, and I am second year uni student in Marketing.My parents have been there for me and have helped me, but I feel like their old ways are setting back in. I moved out at the begging of the year with my best friend and I stayed at his for 7 months, but we live like 2 different people and I had to move out to save my sanity.I came back home after giving it a good go with my best mate and I was only able to move out because my mate only charged me bills.I am a poor uni student that is trying to build himself up in this world and make something of himself, I don't want to be defined by my mistakes and past shame anymore.My dad works as a social worker and sees the worst of pedophiles, kids being abused, and he has been doing the job for nearly 30 years, he is miserable. He was a different person when he took his long service leave, we got on a lot better, he felt like my friend.Yet, when he comes home and if I am anywhere near him he will make passive aggressive comments about jobs, about how me and my mom are lazy, you name it! It's worse that it's passive aggressive, I can deal with direct confrontation.My dad squared up to me over me wanting some of my mom's cheesecake before she said it was ok, I suffer with PTSD, and I was trying to desecelate the situation but he kept getting on my face and taunting me. I blacked out for a second and pushed him hard, he fell back into the cupboard door and the door handle smashed against his back.I still feel shame and remorse about this today, I have apologized on many occassions for this and he has accepted the apology. I'm 6'4 and have wide shoulders , while he is 5'11 and stocky but he is nearly 60.My dad use to scream at me to get out of his house and this had a massive effect on me and I would scream back that it's mom's house to! It always felt like he never wants me in the house.I moved back in early September and my anxiety went through the roof, I broke down crying when my Dad was being passive aggressive with me and he eventually assured me that he wanted me there and told me to pull him up when he was passive aggressive.I am hard to live with sometimes but I have improved the amount of jobs I do and I always try to help my parents out and try to make a contribution.My mom has been my biggest supporter but lately she is getting pissy with me, she attacked me this morning about how much coffee I was drinking, even though I told her before this I'm going shopping today to get some more.I confronted her about her shit attitude and her response was " well you have been shitty to me" so it wasn't even about the coffee in the end.About 5 years ago my mom would get drunk and verbally attack my sister, who is now 25. I would stand up for her and my dad would always take my mom's side and began shouting in my sister's face. I lost it and I pushed him back from her and I squared up to him and I wouldn't back down until he left. I then I told my mom what I thought of her toxic behaviour.I comforted my sister in her room and I heard my mom crying in the living room as my dad comforted her. She eventually stopped this and they have improved a bit in the years since. Yet, it just feels like to get anything to change you have to get into explosive, earth shattering arguments, we can't just talk and if we do it's like treading on thin ice.Do you think my parents are Narcisstic and what would you do in my situation? via /r/raisedbynarcissists https://ift.tt/3j0d6d1
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