To clarify: I do not live in the US, my country's Covid response has been significantly better. Specifically the region I am in hasn't had a new case in just over a week. This is why I am even willing to leave my house at the moment let alone be near someone I hardly know.So my best friend (John) has been with his gf (Suzy) for like 7 years, apparently Suzy has wanted to set me up with her best friend (Carol) for a WHILE. Friday night John got a text from Suzy while hanging out distanced in my backyard, "You and u/socrataint should meet me and Carol at [bar patio]". We said why not and drive to go meet them.While driving John gives me the breakdown, Carol is single, just got out of a pretty serious relationship back in March, very nice, very attractive. Sounds great but John has a tendency to exaggerate with girls so I'm not holding my breath. If anything he undersold her. Smart, interested in my schooling, hilarious, and fucking STUNNING. It took a bit for me to loosen up but pretty quickly we hit it off quite well. I don't have a lot of success with girls usually, partly because I'm just terrible at picking up cues, so I'm flying by the seat of my pants (alcohol is helping with this though). Eventually we want to leave the bar so John (who didn't drink) drives us all back to Suzy's house so we can go sit in her backyard.Things go even better now, Suzy's sister comes out and starts smoking a bowl, I joke about my mom yelling at me for smelling like weed, Carol tells me to come sit on the couch she's on. I literally almost said "hahah I'm just kidding, it's alright" but I caught myself at the last minute and went to sit next to her (unfortunately this is where we stopped distancing, I'm not proud of it but it happened). Now we're just having a private convo about both of our classes, general interest stuff, basically just a good convo that was easy to keep going. I gradually put my arm around her and spend the next hour or so like that.Before John and I leave I ask for her number and invite them all to my parents' house to use the new hot tub we just got. Success on both fronts, they're all coming Sunday night.I texted Carol late afternoon Saturday and had one of the easiest and most interesting text conversations I've ever had with a girl for a few hours. I'm usually shit at texting as well so this is a welcome surprise. Carol just keeps getting better. She's asking super insightful questions about my degree even though hers is totally different, I'm actually laughing, there's emojis everywhere, what a good time. At this point I think it's in the bag, I'll ask her to go out for something just the two of us on Sunday while tubbing.I did just that, we were a couple drinks in, still mostly sober but with augmented confidence, and I asked what night worked best for her to get ice cream, "Thursday at 7?" sounds good to me. Suzy also suggested I attend a small Halloween get together as Carol's "date" to which she agreed relatively emphatically. After a while we move to the fire pit and after a bit I put my arm around her again. We're all having a great time, my mom yells out the window we're being too loud, etc... Before they leave I confirm Thursday again and that's it, I've done it. I'm going out with a girl fucking leagues above wherever I thought I was.I texted her the next day saying I hope she did well on her quiz, she responds several hours later with (paraphrased):"Sorry I'm actually busy Thursday and Friday. I thought I wasn't but I am. Maybe some other time."Periods and everything."That's okay! Definitely let me know if you ever want to!" (She never responded)I've gotten pretty good at telling when it's a sort of no is an excuse given because someone doesn't want to just say no, which I understand can feel awkward and don't hold against them. At this point I'll admit I got overly invested very quickly. I was pretty head over heels in a very short period so I took it kind of hard. I texted John to tell him what happened and vent a bit. He asked Suzy what went wrong.Apparently Carol was getting very serious vibes from whatever was blooming between us and just doesn't feel ready for that yet after her breakup earlier this year. Fair enough, I no longer feel like an unlovable turd, now I'm just disappointed and pissed at the timing.John suggested we let things cool off for a few weeks/a month then he'll ask if they want to get together again the four of us. I think that sounds like a good idea. I'm wondering if anyone has some advice generally or specifically about whether this is a good idea and whether I should just follow her lead if we do hang out again or if I should be an active participant again?Should I text her again? I don't think so but maybe???Thanks in advance!Tl;dr, she got out of a relationship recently and was scared (worried? anxious? nervous? just not ready?) by how serious the relationship between us was feeling on both ends. Basically she doesn't feel ready to get into a serious relationship. Should our mutual friend ask if she wants to hang out all together at some point in the near future? Should I just totally drop it? via /r/askwomenadvice https://ift.tt/2G8n4Mj
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