Why am I always the bad guy/ why is it always my fault

Hi community, I’m really new but I thought I’d share a little bit of my story.I’m 26. Soon to be doctor (in my placement now), national level athlete, coach two different sports, work part time, volunteer my time when I can and donate when I’m able to. I’ve never come home intoxicated, been incarcerated, or charged with any major or minor felonies. Haven’t brought home any sketchy boyfriends or hung out with the “wrong crowd”. My hobbies can be considered extremely boring (ex. Jigsaw puzzles, reading, playing video games) and I don’t even like to party. I feel like I check all the boxes for being a “good kid”, but my parents treat me like a sack of worthless shit.My mom just likes to belittle me and start an argument whenever I’m home for too long. One day she’ll be cool and another day she’ll walk into my room and casually remind me of how much of a disrespectful, borderline embarrassing child I am. And then somehow she expects me to act like I’m completely okay, and it’s my fault if I’m upset by the words that she’s said “because I don’t mean it and you should get over it.” It’s so frustrating to deal with because I literally don’t know how I can be doing any better. She also has zero ability to put herself in someone else’s shoes. If I say something to her and it hurts her feelings, I’m supposed to apologize but when she says the exact same thing back to me, I’m supposed to get over it.Since I was a kid she’s constantly been on my case for not being successful and how I can’t do anything right. She’s called me a selfish bitch for competing at a national competition, and I have no idea what I did wrong, most parents would be proud. Every time I land a new/ better job I don’t get any congratulations or encouragement. She’s almost kicked me out of the house at 18 for offering to pay my own cell phone bill. It’s stressful living with her because I don’t know what’s going to set her off next and it’s so tiring to deal with.She also blames me for any hardships that she brings upon herself. An example: She and my step-dad have remortgaged themselves, bought an unnecessarily large house, and blamed me for the financial stress. “I bought this house because of you, and you can’t even say thank you/ I work hard so I can provide for you, and you can’t even do this right”. I never asked to move, in fact I suggested downsizing to save money. They just go out of their way to do the opposite and then blame me for any negative outcomes.She makes excuses for the rest of my family who also treat me like trash, so naturally I’ve grown to hate them as well. She’s quick to believe the worst rumours about me but never checks it with me or thinks about defending me.I’ve tried changing my approach with her for over 10 years now. Nothings worked. I’ve suggested counselling (big mistake on my part. To even suggest that she’s a bad mother made my life a living hell for a few weeks), therapy, different methods of communication and NOTHING is well received. I’ve just been told it’s a “me” problem because they’re the perfect family and I’m just a shitty, ungrateful child.I don’t know where I’m going with this, fellow community, but I guess I’m just tired. Tired and beat down. via /r/raisedbynarcissists https://ift.tt/3j2RWvA