I feel like the only way to talk about my issues is to list out everything simply Bc I will throw in so much detail. I work at a BBQ restaurant. Before I was a vegetarian wanting to convert to vegan- whole food plant based diet). Given an oppurtunity to eat lunch for free everyday, there’s nothing that’s really healthy besides the most generic salad you can think of. I can save a bunch of money. But I try working 40 hrs- no lunch as a dishwasher. I have a lot of responsibilities and My legs constantly hurt. I’m thinking about just working 4 days a week instead of 5 but I’ll be missing out on $180 with that one extra day off. Or am I just being a baby? I’m trying to find the right pair of shoes, no luck yet.I live with my bf’s family Bc my family was too overbearing. They consist of 2 functional alcoholics, a 26 yo with severe autism and an 18 yo that doesn’t know basic hygiene. The mom who’s an alcoholic barely meets the hygiene requirements for her autistic kid and she’s never layed down any rules for her kids so My bf and I are usually the only ones that clean. My bf. I do love him but sometimes we are not at the same intellectual level. We don’t have deep conversations and He says I always nag when Im just trying to give out suggestions. We’ve been back together for 6 months now and share a dog for the past 4 years of her life. we dated a while back for 3 years bc things were taken out of context “we should go on a break”. He just wanted to be on a break from living at my house).My house consisted of my parents, my grandmother(dementia) and my younger brother and sister (both young adults) and brothers gf and basically a zoo of animals. 6 dogs, 2cats, 2rats, a fish and huge amount of bugs. Mom could never really say no to taking in bugs and I want her to get rid of the bugs Bc she can take care of them but not the best way possible. She’s more of a collector then a caretaker. She feeds the dogs really well but there’s nothing else to that. No training, No walks or much going out. The bugs. Some enclosures need to be a lot bigger. It doesn’t get changed unless I nag her to. I moved out Bc I couldn’t handle the chaos any more.My dad, the only person paying for the house was putting money into vet bills and home repair. He’s worked at Boeing for decades and doesn’t have anything to show for it. He’s been a functional addict for years, taking pills, giving his wife what she wants. She is barely able to treat herself/ take care of herself (like just the basic necessities) Bc she’s taking care of everybody else. Me and my siblings always went to her Bc he was always in a bad mood when he came home from work. I insisted getting rid of the bugs. She kept them Bc we’d sell them at reptile shows and make lots of money and she had no other way to make money. She also made friends and was part of a community. But to me she kept tings Bc she liked them, but there’s too many. And I know Bc I put the effort to research. The research she knows is reptile lighting. But the well-being of animals, she has no consideration for and it angered me. Almost like a hoarding-like tendency with her and animals. I’ve wanted to find something she could make money from but she doesn’t even really know what she likes besides animals. She likes them but she doesn’t know how to fully take care of them, put in much research. My dad was mean and he didn’t really have anything nice to show for the kind of money he made . I don’t blame him for being upset all the time. He gave up everything for her to be happy.But the thing that made me distant from him is the comments he’d make at women, it made me uncomfortable like saying “daddy like.... daddy Liiiikkke” when they were extremely attractive or “bouncy-bouncy!” When they had big boobs. I just don’t think dads should say these things out load, especially when your kids are like 12-14. My dads a lot better now since he’s doing couples therapy with my mom, anger management and on some medication. He walks regularly as exercise. Just by himself or my mom. The dogs are too chaotic and untrained to go on walks.My brothers gf is a bit of a child when it comes to animals. She’ll post them on snap. But replace them with something else a week later. She has a chihuahua and my brothers dog who she was very attached to and dogs too became dependent of her but she decided to live at her parents house in order to keep the pit bull. She lost a pit bull once and thinks this is the redemption. Besides that, I cant count how many times she’s wanted to break up with my brother. Now she and my brother sleep on the floor in her sisters room so they could keep the pit bull. The pit bull she brought was sweet and was a rescue but she attacked other dogs and if you got in the way, you’d get bit and my mom finally put her foot down after 4 months, “you can’t have her here, I have to constantly baby sit her and make sure she doesn’t kill anyone”. She is very sweet but she is also very dumb. She didn’t really want to listen to anyone but the dogs would give her a cue to back off and the pit bull insisted, and a fight would break loose.My brother stays with his gf and pit bull and occasionally comes back home by himself. He’s cheap and doesn’t want to move out and she wants to move out. They love each other. My brother is a genuinely nice person. I trust his gf trememdndously but I don’t want them together if my brother isn’t the right one. He has a learning disability but the gf doesn’t find it a good enough excuse to why he can’t listen and second guesses. I don’t really want them together. I’m proud they’d sleep on the floor to keep a dog, but they left their 2 other dogs behind at my moms house.Besides everyone stressing me out. I try to do depop, sell hot wheels on the side. I used to play soccer but I can’t play Bc my legs hurt. I used to like yoga but I honestly don’t feel like it. I’m just aching all the time. It sounds like I’m making excuses and I am. But I’m tired, i overeat, Im over weight, I hurt and I have to research everything beforehand and I have a million ideas going through my head everyday and that alone is tiring on top of a 40 hr workweek and a dog that constantly need to be ran. Having talked to a nutritionist my overeating comes mentally. How’s your family/friend relationships? They’re okay, I don’t hang out with any friends (even before the pandemic) do you have any hobbies? I have quite a bit but I don’t have time for all of them. do you meditate? Nope. Do you exercise? I wish.....I know I can’t help anyone but I just wish people weren’t so delusional. I’m delusional to think I can keep going. I have no balance, I worry about everyone else. I worry about animals. I want enough time to do everything.But I guess starting question, should I sacrifice pay and work less to maybe help with my health or keep pushing through and fingers crossed things will fall into place? via /r/mentalhealth https://ift.tt/36gP0YK
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