Just "woke up." - and now I can't sleep at night.

Hey friends, I'm new here. It honestly only took me this long to wake up because I'd been scared of what I'd find when I started considering apostate websites + forums. I was scared it would actually make sense (hello - red flag that I was scared of uncovering the truth!!) I actually remember saying to my PIMI sister a year ago - I feel like if I look at apostate stuff it's going to solidify my doubts - and there wouldn't be any going back.Anyways, I finally decided that it was ok to be scared - and do it anyway. I started googling about the organization, our origin & the GB 3 nights ago and basically haven't slept since. I'm still PIMO, + my husband is still very much PIMI. We're both born-in's, 3rd generation from VERY zealous families. We also have two beautiful children, who are our entire lives, and the reason why I'm feeling physically sick after waking up.I don't know where the heck to go from here. The way I look at it, I basically have two choices:1) to quietly fade - tell my husband I have doubts but not share the full scope (which I've already done over the past few years) slowly trickle information and ask him questions, and hopefully he will wake up too. If I'm careful about what I say, I could keep contact with my family, but my husband and family will likely just intensify their efforts to make up for what I'm "lacking" spiritually and indoctrinate our children even more passionately. This scenario also feels like living a lie (ironic, because that's all we've ever done) but I'd have hope of my family and kids fully being POMO with me in the long run.2) I come clean to my husband about everything I found, and I disassociate myself. In this scenario, I would have a VOICE and a say in how our children are raised, but my husband is likely to just be pushed to be even MORE PIMI, even longterm, AND I lose all our friends and family. But I'd feel like I'm living an authentic life.Are there any other PIMO parents on here, who have/had a PIMI spouse? I'd love to hear your experience, and what worked for you & how you handled your spouse, and fading vs DA-ing. Is there anything you wish you could do differently? and heck, do you have some insight or advice into what you think I should do?!I'm open to all thoughts and opinions, not just pimo's and parents! Thanks in advance - I'm so grateful to have found you!!xx via /r/exjw https://ift.tt/30jwrzu