I need advice now ASAP

My fiancés family has been nothing short of terrible to me. They have been emotionally and verbally abusive to me for our entire relationship.My fiancé did not stand up for me at first and this caused a lot of issues in our relationship. He told me that they taught him to accept bad behavior. He has started to stand up for me but it’s still not enough. He told me he was mistreated by them for so long that he still has trouble understanding when their behavior is rude, cruel, etc. I am upset that I stayed with someone that didn’t stand up for me for so long (8 years) but I also didn’t know what I know now. I had never met anyone like his family before and I didn’t know what a narcissist was.We haven’t seen his family in a year now. He still talks to them on the phone and there is a group chat but we haven’t seen them in person. This is the longest I have gone without seeing them since I met my fiancé. When I try to talk to him about how this time apart has made me realize that I should have stopped seeing them the first time they mistreated me, and after 8 years of them insulting me, screaming at me inches from my face, and doing other really terrible things to me, I am done. His response to this is basically that he still wants them in our life somewhat only because he wants to see his dad and he thinks that’s okay because according to my fiancé “They haven’t mistreated you in years.” Not only is this insensitive and completely excuses what they have done to me but I responded “They haven’t done anything to me in years only because we haven’t seen them, not because they all of a sudden stopped being assholes. Guaranteed if we had seen them, or we see them again in the future they’ll go right back to being awful.”He also told me “Yes they said mean things, yes they weren’t nice but it’s not like they physically abused you.” They didn’t just say a mean word to me. They tormented me. Relentlessly for years. And he knows this. But according to him since it wasn’t physical it wasn’t that bad so I shouldn’t be as upset by it as I am. And he said they haven’t mistreated me in years so that means it will be okay to see them again in the future.I told him I don’t want them at our wedding but I’ll be the bigger person because he wants his dad there and his dad will not come without them because my fiancés mom won’t let him. So I told my fiancé “They will not be involved in even one part of the wedding planning. They will only know there is a wedding when they receive an invitation in the mail. His response was “Well they’ll know before they get the invitation because we’ll have to discuss wedding dates with them that work for them.” I was so upset by this. I told him “We can consider my parents and families schedule and both of our friend schedules, but we will NOT consider your family’s schedule. I will not take into account the schedule of anyone who has repeatedly verbally abused me, screamed at my multiple times over the years, (His mom has screamed many things to my face including really insulting names, screamed I’m not family multiple times, screamed at me to give her my engagement ring, and more terrible things I don’t want to share that would turn this into a novel) and has caused issues at family events I was invited to by basically telling the host “leave her out, don’t talk to her or acknowledge her, she isn’t family.”What do I do? Do I keep trying to get him to understand? Do I keep being hurt by him because he is supposed to be the person that protects me and he still isn’t? Do I just realize I’ve wasted 8 years on this guy who just can’t seem to understand, and just leave and find someone who wants to get married and have a family with me and will protect me?NEW INFO: fiancé just said he read this post and all the comments. He said “Yes the people in the comments feel this way but I just don’t.” I can hear him reading them and he’s just reading them quickly and saying “yeah I don’t agree” and he’s arguing with the comments. He keeps saying he hurts that I’m hurt but his family’s comments to me don’t hurt him because he doesn’t take what his mom says seriously because she’s crazy. He then said he doesn’t know how to work this out because he wants to see his dad. I feel like he’s arguing with and dismissing the comments and I’m completely lost on what to do now.MORE INFO: He just told me the terrible things his sister has done to me were bad but not something I should still be upset about years later or be the reason I don’t like her, or the reason I don’t want to have my kids around her, because the things she did to me in his words “weren’t routine. She did a few mean things to you but it wasn’t constant.” via /r/JUSTNOMIL https://ift.tt/2EO2NLg