Does anyone have a similar experience?

Just looking for opinions on if anyone has similar experience? You don’t have to read the whole thing to get the gist!41 now and found out I was raised by a narcissistic mother at 39. Her gaslighting while at my job and about my 10 year old daughter who I have raised since 2 years old gave me a mental breakdown. It first started 5 years ago when she wanted to control the exchanges between me and ex wife. She Drug her with her car 40 feet according to police report and blamed it on me when I wasn’t even there. When I first got divorced 7 years ago, she assured me that they were going to help me get on my feet and out of debt so I could live a nice life. However, because of my non compliance she kicked me and daughter out before I could get on feet and sale house. Her punishment caused me increased expenses and led me to bankruptcy.I was highly successful in a field where Credit was important and not only did she leave me hanging and bankrupt, I had to sell everything of value to pay another attorney for bankruptcy while going through expensive divorce which often times left me scraping change together to feed my kid.I forgot to mention my parents are rich btw. I rose to the occasion and eventually even landed a higher paying job than her after recovering from the Bk and divorce.The whole time she had a Private Detective taking pictures of me from across the street and had family members drive by and when I would ask she would say I was just paranoid.She would call the police on me frequently if I didn’t answer her calls. This was the beginning of a long journey to figuring out what she was up to as I was 33 when the stalking started. She would even manipulate my own friends to say they needed a place to stay and pay them money to report back.Fast forward a few years. I end up with my dream job making more money than her. She quickly would demean me and say I don’t deserve it. After two years on the job I had saved up enough money to buy my own house and told her I was moving closer to work which was further from them. She became enraged and said she wouldn’t be around to help with my kid when I traveled and I said that’s your choice.One day I get home from a business trip to meet a CPS worker at my house. The worker interviewed me and ex wife and recommended moving further away from her even though they can’t tell u who did the complaint. In the report it said I was paranoid. Yes I actually was because my mom had betrayed me and put me and my family through undo stress by making false CPS report.It took 6 months to close out. She had also threatened to kill me when I told her I was moving and she meant it. I bought my dream house in a gated community 45 minutes away from her with 24 hour security only to find out she was trespassing, having detective video my daughter and I outside and I was like well I’m not doing anything wrong so what am I gonna do.I tried to avoid confrontation with her because it would be screaming and her making threats to take my kid from me. I even have a text where she said she would get me fired from my job after gaslighting me at work.It was so embarrassing I just dealt with it. I then met the girl of my dreams who advised me that was not normal and she wanted me to be happy because she could see that I was shaken every time I would answer her calls. I had been setting up boundaries over the years and didn’t rely on them for anything.I wouldn’t ask them for anything at all no matter how bad it hurt. Eventually an estranged friend who I had not had contact with for a year reached out to me and said he needed a place to stay. He started wearing my clothes, eating my food, and refused to get a job. It was like single white female the movie.Immediately my gf said he wants your life! He always seems to be keeping tabs on my parenting and added to my stress level. The abuse from her had been bad lately because now we had been successful living away from her for almost two years and I was now engaged. This caused a big strain on my now fiancée and mine engagement and we got into an argument and we were supposed to fly to NY the next day to get married. Oh also my daughter came home with a phone charger from her and it was plugged in my bedroom. I was looking at it and it flashed at me. I took the top off to find out it was a hidden camera. I spoke with one attorney about legal action but my fiancée and everyone talked me out of suing my mom. She said it was a gag gift and admitted to it in writing.More bizarre stalking kept happening and this really started to get to my nerves. I wished i had sued her because i ended up getting drunk at my own house and was depressed because my fiancé was not gonna go to NY and get married. Anyways i made some dark comments in front of some neighbors who didnt know me that well about dark depressing things.Then i go inside my house alone because i had agreed for her to watch my kiddo while on business trip, and my fiancé calls and says to come outside. I walk outside and see lasers pointed at her head and a swat team in my driveway. She told me to take my shirt of so i did and they focused the guns on me.My house backs up to a busy road and there was a loud noise. Those neighbors had called the police thinking i s**t myself and my fiancé showed up with bags packed to go to NY. I more than cooperated and agreed to let them search my house to look for , casings and evidence so they could try to put me in jail. Man I wish I would have gone to jail. At least I could have been bailed out in the morning. They found nothing because there was nothing to be found. I even let them search my truck. The supervisor told my fiancée that they cant leave me alone with the allegations but couldn't charge me with a crime.They asked if i would be willing to go to hospital for 24 hours and i thought they were talking about the ER. My fiancée gracefully talked me into it because she had no desire to vouch for me if I did what they said and I do not blame her for it in the moment. I would’ve been scared to vouch for someone based on the narrative they wrote about me so I agreed and was handcuffed with a young officer banging the barrel of a glock up against my head like i was a threat his boss told him to back off and he even admitted that he wanted to off me because his adrenaline was pumping. He’s also the same jerk that got to drive me to the hospital and write a non criminal story about me that would forever alter my life. I got treated and abused by them at my own house. I’ve handled as many wrong doings that have transpired here as possible but next everyone keeps telling me to hire another lawyer for the police violating my civil rights. There’s also video footage. I don’t want to sue everyone but I feel like if I don’t handle things it will just continue to happen and I have managed to become pretty strong and resilient over the years of abuse. It actually drove me to excel in careeer but screwed me on relationships. To sue the city I live in or not is the big question???I get in the car and find out he was taking me to a mental hospital. I was so mad when I got there because I knew I needed to get cleared to get out. I just knew that I was only intoxicated and that the doctor would let me out ASAP. Well I used my one chance to convince the doc to let me out while I was intoxicated and enraged for being in a mental ER. It was like jail and I knew I was not crazy. I barely drank and drank that night to numb my pain. Little did I know the seriousness of what the police said about me. So I made the decision to be involuntarily there thinking I would get a mental health court date in 24 hours. Finally when my permanent doctor was assigned to me, he was a perfect match BTW and one of the best in America. The nurse who had to inject me into a coma because I tried to escape turned out to be my best ally. He would come tell me stories every night about other people trying to escape. I just thought it was a hospital and I was there voluntarily but being intoxicated didn’t help. Him and another guy put me into a temporary coma next to 50 other people that were in recliners. I actually needed that to calm down and sleep but I didn’t understand that it was going to prolong my stay because the doctors saw that as aggression. I learned a lot about being in the hospital. The two intake nurses including the male nurse made sure that I got transferred to their floor because they saw that I just had a bad night and wanted me to get out ASAP. At first I wasn’t taking the antidepressants but quickly learned that the Physchiatrist can tell if your own them or not because you more subdued when you see them everyday and they tell u that u getting out tomorrow which never happens and adds an element of crazy. The male nurse that had to subdue me put me on his floor and bunked me up with one of the scariest patients they had that suffered from skizo and became violent because someone ate his apple.The female nurse I had brought me the information about the mental health court. Then I met with my doctor the next morning and he was like u got to sign in voluntarily because If u go to that court they aren’t even gonna let you speak and go off the police report and it would be a minimum of two months and they would make me a ward to the state? I was like what the hell? I knew I didn’t belong there but then my doc explained to me that he kinda has to go slow on letting me out too bec of the seriousness of what the police wrote about me even though they weren’t there to witness the alleged incident. I started to just relax and take the meds so I could get out. Still on PTSD meds today to be compliant but honestly I had a bad hangover night and I was amazed at the support I got from the staff and nurses in there.Everyday the nurses would be like you still getting married? I said The sooner I get out the more likely for me to fix this. All in all it took 7 days for the doc to be able to justify letting me out. I would have been out in 24 hours and had 0 destruction to my life had the police not made up such a detailed story about the series of events that they did not witness or find evidence to confirm. I mean FML. Even the trained doc had to diagnose me with a serious depression to get me out and cover his but because what that one rookie guy who wanted to shoot me wrote about me and was all fictional. I mean even the neighbor witnesses just put that I said I was depressed and they invited me to go to Church and they were actual witnesses.The biggest most costly misunderstanding of my life. But you know what. Life was a living hell for almost two years, ruined Credit, lost car, applied for food stamps but got denied because my ex wife already got them for the daughter that doesn’t live with her. It’s just been a tough go in general. I mean when I first got divorced my daughter was only two and I would have to take her in ladies restrooms out of cleanliness Because nobody had that about the Dad yet and that wasn’t long ago, I was awarded child support but don’t receive a dime and don’t care because I had always figured things out on my own anyways. I feel mostly horrible for my daughter whose lifestyle has been altered with all this drama. The judge has now ordered a physchiatrist at $250 per hour chosen by my daughter’s court appointed attorney whose decisions have shifted towards favoring my mom. The only reason I gave in on agreeing to have that is because my mom could filed something if I didn’t agree that was some sort of loophole that would have dropped my kid right in her lap.A 10 year old girl is basically like a 12 year old these days and my daughter has been happy being poor and never wants to see her nana again. I mean mom wouldn’t even allow her to call me on the phone that I pay for and the poor girl was being brainwashed. Every time we go to court it’s like the judge says 30 minutes and my moms 4-5 attorneys and experts hog up the docket with slanderous things about me even before I had a kid like stuff that happened in my twenties and then the judges doesn’t have time to really listen to what is going on. I have told my attorney I’m just gonna go on local news Because this is a high powered legal kidnapping. My attorney response is well I will withdraw from your case if u do that. I mean CPS gave me a clean bill. The main problem with my daughter’s attorney now is that I stayed with a friend for a few months because this person I call mom spewed her venom in my relationship which caused issues. I absolutely do not blame her for dumping especially when there were flying monkeys taking pictures of her house and they even followed her to work thinking it was me. She stuck by me for almost two years like a champ.We all thought as soon as CPS closes the case that we would be able to live a nice quiet life. Well now after two years in hell everything has started clicking now that I’m back under my own roof. I left all furniture with ex and told her I was starting over without know where I would get the money to buy new stuff. I got a small settlement for the employment issue because I had no desire to take it to trial and once again I would talk to attorneys about my slam dunk case, and they weren’t interested in paying attention to the Rock Solid evidence I had. They just wanted $4,000 up front and didn’t even think I would get anything so I decided to handle it on my own and file my own complaints because I had no more money for another attorney I have learned the hard way that the hallmark of a good attorney is one you explain to them once or send to them once and they remember everything you told them in court. Like my mom even gets away with perjury where I have factual data to discount her lies. She has spent her whole life calling me a con, and nothing but a liar because sometimes with a serious narcissist with physcopathy it’s just easier to tell them what they want so u don’t get abused. But overall, I’m probably one of the most honest people and far from a con you can meet. You have to have Character in my career and always be ethical but she would call me that envious of my job and that I made more money than her with less schooling. My college days were rough because my mom would constantly be like I’m not gonna pay for your school so I would take that seriously and just start working full time.I guess with me working so young that is the benefit Because I’m now a seasoned vet in business. Through all this adversity and with her interference, a competitor jumped all over me and I will be back to normal as far as my career. I’ve been making the salary I made 20 years ago doing a more entry level job which has served its purpose. I’ve never been one to give up on jobs. I felt like when I was living with my fiancée she kept doubling her salary and would put pressure to where I would just self destruct when I would have a good job interview. Plus most people can smell desperation. On top of that she started like competing applying for same jobs I already had interviews for which really brought out an ugly side of me and I would say that was a pivot point for the toxicity that started spewing. I felt so small and she felt so in charge because she was paying all the bills on her own for the first time in her life. Even though I had a good 20 years experience on her she started getting really competitive with me and when I would let her know that it reminded me of how my mother would act, she would minimize me and say don’t be such a victim. What she failed to understand is I was still healing and she was setting me back.When she abruptly said she was done and kicked my daughter and I to the streets knowing that I had hardly any money and had ruined my credit so couldn’t rent anything, I was so hurt, she went silent and refused to give me closure or even tell me that what we had was real. She had done me just as my mom had and discarded me. I do take responsibility though because I think with all the toxic shit we were dealing with she was just over it. I used to hide my issues with my mom from her but she insisted that she was strong enough to help me get in a better space. Looking back the over sharing of court custody evidence had changed her into what reminded me of my mom. I knew certain things I should’ve kept to myself but she had me convinced that we were gonna work through it all together and I would actually get in trouble by her in passive aggressive ways with silence if I got caught withholding something from my personal stuff from her. It sad what me and my narcissist mother ruined. She was the best mentally and physically until our bullshit just broke her. I was so shocked that I lost that. I am a very loyal companion and outside of my ex, that I was married to for 12 years, I never would settle down because I knew what I was looking for and it took me 5 years of bad dates and terribly matched relationships to find her. I know though too that she is gonna be hard pressed to find a stronger man like me that can totally rebuild his life after blowing it up in less than two years. There were plenty of times I just wanted to give up but I didn’t for what I was told was my wife and new family. Patience I suppose is a virtue and I haven’t come up with the strength to start dating again. It might be years.It’s just sad that I fully recovered but took longer than she or me wanted and the only thing I really lost is her who was a unicorn when she loved me. I’ll never forgive myself for letting mine and my moms venom ruin my family future.But, I have to move forward and adjust to being alone again and I think I’m getting there. Moving forward after no contact is the only direction to go. Don’t let bs bog you down. I always knew that I was gonna get back to the person that she fell for and respected. It just took a little longer. So I have decided even if that opportunity comes back around as there is a little hoovering with her, I’m gonna politely decline because I no longer want to live in the past and I feel that if she was my person she would have stuck it out 6 extra months. Life will be good and I finally feel like I’m recovering and my moms lawsuit no longer even gets under my skin. I hope this story helps some of you. I’m of the opinion that my mom is much more extreme like a Narc with physcopathic tendencies but she will never be diagnosed. I’m sure what I’ve written will help someone some day because I had searched the internet and spoken to specialist and nobody could give me examples or really relate to this mother son relationship.She always used to spank me ground me, I tried to run away as a kid, and she would even kick me out of our nice suburban house as a kid and let me walk to the nearest pay phone to call my dad. Then she would real me back in with like stiff I wanted. Looking back what I was really doing was standing up to her at a young age because her behavior was unacceptable so it would make me rebel worst. I ended up going to a prestigious college and finishing what my mom took away from me over and aver at nights when I was 30. She wouldn’t even go to my graduation or acknowledge that I went there and paid for it on my own Because I reckon she was envious that it was like Ivy League compared to her school. I wasted so many years thinking my relationship with her was normal.The best thing to do with a Narc like her is no contact. My life has been very stressful but I do t think I would’ve made it trying to fix everything and being gaslighted by her everyday. I’ve learned that friends can be family because she also turned my whole family against me. I don’t understand why even my own dad who used to be married to her doesn’t have a spine enough to say “you’ve done enough to our only son” everyone in my family is owned some way by her except me. I have always been a good man of good character and have always been brave enough to take my beating or whatever to stand my ground. It does get better with no contact and I think I’m even stronger now than I was before and I’m much more emotionally healthy. So eventually I plan on finding my last wife and being the best me I’ve ever been.Just because this happened to you and you are discovering it, I would recommend keeping dialogue with people that don’t have this issue to a minimum to avoid being labeled as a victim. You tell someone how you feel and you teach them how to do emotional blackmail on you. Only share with people your sure about. Always remember after healing process and discovery of the disorder that you must come out of that space of being a victim otherwise your forward progress will be stuck. Always keep moving forward and trying 120% even when people kick u while your down and I promise life will get better but I hones hope nobody has to do this. It is especially dangerous standing up for yourself with wealthy narcs but it’s also rewarding that u are your own person and I don’t give a shit that I’ve been written out of the will. I just wanted a normal mom my whole life not money and she never cared to listen.I only told my roommate and asked he not tell my mom so I can figure this out on my own. My gut was telling me that something was going on and she was plotting for this moment to try and take my kid. Well my so called friend and roommate told my mom, told me he emailed my work, after 7 months and an Investigation I found out he didn’t, and even supposedly drafted and printed a copy of the email when he picked me up driving my truck that he decided to clean to his liking and wearing my best clothes.I was in there 7 days. Also immediately upon turning on my phone I received a text from boss as if they knew I was being released that moment. My mom was my emergency contact because I was single. Boss says we been concerned and I send letter from hospital and then I get referred to HR and they asked if I received a Letter. I told them no I’m on way from hospital.I get home to a termination letter. I was adjusting to meds and under the impression that roomie had sent the email he assured me he sent. Once home, my ex had been there watching kid and daughter came home saying CPS came to visit her at school. Then minutes later, a lady with a badge was at my door and threatened to take my kid immediately if I didn’t find someone to supervise me. My fiancée had broken up with me the day before getting out, my so called friend all the sudden had money and was spending time at moms which was off and if CPS needed to be called the police would have done that automatically but I didn’t have my kid. I didn’t trust anyone. I finally told my mom what happened and she played like no big deal there’s plenty of jobs and get better. Well come to find out she filed a false police report the day before I got out saying I was gonna get another and do something crazy which prompted the Police to call CPS. I told the lady that she could go to moms for a month for summer while she worked through her investigation. So in the moment the roomie and childhood friend who I trusted my whole life became my supervisor. I noticed how he wasn’t rattled by this as if he had expected. He quickly started staying with my mom which was weird and she essentially made him me. However, he’s not the type that responds to people like that well. Much more passive. So I automatically assumed that he’s the one that called them. By Christmas he literally escaped from her clutches and hat sent me an email recanting his written testimony and was living in a Van in Wal Mart Parking lot living off peanut butter. The empath in me kicked in and I started to go visit him in the parking lot. One day we were out and fiancée said let’s go see him and record him. We recorded all the stuff he told us that contradicted everything. He tried to continue to play me by not telling me important details he knew. He would say it just makes his muscles tense to talk about it but then ask me to buy him a burger. Well come to find out it was him and her that made sure family services came out according to new stuff discovered. I mean how much can u mess with a persons brain. I would gladly take a punch in the face any day over emotional blackmail. I guess since he felt so noble to do that to me I felt it was only the proper thing to do to report him for some crimes he made me aware of. When she got that audio where he’s says that she offered him like $200k to do this to me she sent it to him and he confronted me about it and was acting squirrelly as if he was still trying to play both sides. I explained to him that I just took out an insurance policy on him so he can’t just run back for the money. You can tell he was devastated. She was even paying his child support for him to keep him out of clink and offered to pay $10k to fix his rotten teeth and bought me suits. Anyways I blocked him and will no longer talk to him again. No contact with the flying monkey!!!Mom was Banking on CPS placing her with her but they didn’t. When I got kid back she told me that mom said I didn’t love her, tried to enroll her in school, and offered to buy anything. And said she should have aborted me. The investigation was closed with no findings, I’m now unemployed and mom says she didn’t talk to my employer. We then agreed to CPS to do services and they believed my daughter and I about mom and gave me counseling for all the abuse she had done to me and told me to keep my kid away from her.As the dust started to settle, I started waiting tables, then got a job but got fired because someone called up there and said I was a child abuser. I then filed unemployment who the referred me to DOL for Possible FMLA issue.Almost a year goes buy, my fiancée and I are now living in her house because I could no longer afford mine and rented it out. I had my car reposssesed and mom even offered me $20k for kid in writing for which I said nope.She became increasingly angry and then decided to sue me for custody all while I had just started working an entry level job. She makes up all sorts of hearsay lies, pays my old roomie to write a affidavit that was false and now going on year two of a suit. My fiancée had enough after the drama and toxicity it brought into our relationship and I found myself without anywhere to go until a friend offered to rent a room.Judge has not given her any visitation but she has 4 attorneys racking up my 1. She is now going to trial. All her stuff is slander, untrue, and not factual. I don’t understand why it hasn’t been thrown out. I have factual evidence to discredit her lies. I even went to police report to hold her acccountable for cams she put in my house but police said no crime and would even let me show them the devices because it was my mom.My roomie took my daughter’s dog that I paid $3k for on her 8th bday to moms and she says it hers under oath even though I have receipts. She tells people im dead and even contemplated have a funeral on Facebook for me!!!She told me I should have just off myself. All these years she had been attempting to build a case on me to take my kid. Per now former employer she spoke with them and I have in writing. I cannot believe that everyone seems to believe her side of this diabolical story. My kid and I have been almost two years no contact. I even told the police she threatened to kill me and they were like that might very well happen.Restraining order denied. This is truly one of the most diabolical nRc stories out theirs.have much more but too long already via /r/raisedbynarcissists https://ift.tt/36bT6Bn