After 5 yrs, I finally came out to my mom.

I grew up in a LDS home (Mormon, if that rings a bell). Mom stayed at home and watched all 6 kids our whole lives. Dad went to work every day to be the breadwinner of the family. It wasn’t a bad home by any means. It was very traditional and those were the values the tried to teach us. We loved each other very much (despite the constant fighting as kids) and we still do. My family is one of the most important things in the world to me, behind my future wife and my own family. So the reaction I got the first time I “came out” to them my senior year of HS (early 2014, I was essentially caught kissing my gf at the time in my room) was truly traumatizing.My dad called me into his room after she was sent home. He started yelling at the top of his lungs, throwing whatever he had in his reach. All while saying something along the lines of “I’ve given you everything and this is how you repay me?”. I huddled in the corner petrified he was going to beat me and all I could say through the tears was that I was sorry. He eventually stormed out, got in the car, and drove off. He didn’t return till the next morning. Mom was balling her eyes out asking herself where she went wrong, what she had done wrong as a mother, how could I have ended up like this? I felt so much pain at her thinking it was her fault but told her if wasn’t anyone’s fault and especially not hers. When my little brother realized my dad had taken off in the car, he screamed at me that “if dads kills himself over this I’m going to kill you”. Needless to say it was a rough night, and the years following have been strained at best.Now, that was all 6 years ago. At that time I hadn’t realized I was trans yet. That didn’t come till the summer of 2015 after I was released from a psych ward for an attempt on my life. But ever since, I’ve told myself I would never be able to tell my family while I was still under my dads financial help. So I’ve spent the last 5 years slowly distancing myself from them. Going to less family functions, not participating in the group chat, all bc of the fear of losing them. Little did I know, my family was watching me change the whole time.Last night, my mom sent me a simple text - “I’m looking at the moon right now. It’s the same moon in Texas. I miss you”. My parents/younger siblings moved to Cali over a year ago and I’ve only seen them twice since. Even thinking about that text now is bringing tears to my eyes bc it made me realize how much I miss her. And I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I called her and broke down crying asking her to please tell me she loved me, that she would always love me, and nothing would change it. She did as any mother would and confirmed it all then asked what was wrong several times.I just blurted out that I wanted to be a boy and followed it with as many ‘I’m sorry’s as I’ve said in my life. She simply replied - “you have to do you to be happy. I’ll take you in any way I can get you. You’ll always be my baby and I’ll always love you”. The tears came even harder. She explained the family had already known, they were waiting for me to be comfortable to tell them. When I talked to my little sister she explained that mom talks about her “daughter who is also her son” in church. Explains that she’ll always love me no matter how I present myself and that other parents of trans kids need to do the same. We’re still their children and we still need our families.To those who made it this far in this long ass post, please know there is a possibility for change. For growth. For acceptance. I have a feeling we’ll be working on my new name and pronouns for a few years, but I’ll take that any day over nothing at all. via /r/FTMMen https://ift.tt/2HIy17L