If there's a better place for this, like a mental health sub, let me know. I will try to keep this short. We're in USA, Ohio if it matters for any reason. My younger brother is 29 and our family [M/F oS oS yB and me] agrees he has some sort of mental illness, but he is undiagnosed. He had a learning disability as a kid and struggled with ulcerative colitis since his teens. He doesn't have a highschool diploma, never had a driver's license or job, never had a girlfriend. He mostly doesn't leave the house and doesn't take care of himself or his residence. He lives with my parents. He smokes marijuana. Not sure if anything else, but definitely has talked to me in the past about self-medicating with street drugs.I'm not living with it every day like my parents are, so I can only see a limited side of things. Every interaction with him from anyone that cares about him is nothing but listening to a screaming fit of incel rants. The terms he uses the most in these rants is ct, bh, cuk, n***r, j*, deep state, a whole host of conspiracies etc. Your typical incel stuff. He has in the past threatened his own life and everyone's safety, which the police seem to have halted because they'll take him in if he does it again and get slipped for 3 days at the most. Any mental health professional that interacts with him does not see the same things we see other than the complete and utter lack of physical grooming. He won't voluntarily get admitted or see a professional and blames his problems on women and my mother (mostly) and my father (both who he calls every name in the book). I do think they've enabled for his whole life and they regret that. My mother has gotten a crisis counselor to come in and talk with him, but the counselor reports a terrific conversation every time. It's like he can switch it off for the police and counselors in a second. Like today, counselor comes over, reports big progress, then the hate comes out as soon as he's left the house. There's evidence of his ramblings like texts and recordings, so he's not hiding it from anyone, but it seems like there's nothing that can be done. Mom filed for eviction and dad hasn't been supportive of this or in most attempts at getting him help because he can't stand the rage and hateful comments. He's always been like that, avoiding conflict till he can't anymore, then explodes. Maybe it's genetic? The problem is if evicted and without voluntary help or civil services, he's going to be living on the street, and that's their biggest fear.Anyways, I haven't communicated with him in probably a few years now except group texts to update my family on baby stuff. He is now targeting me by text for his hateful spite because I was on the phone with my mom talking about if she wanted to stay with me and apparently she was on speakerphone. He's been throwing some real low blows, like for instance, we lost our baby late term last year on Christmas and it was devastating, but she's pregnant again and we're really hopeful. He said "no wonder you can't have any children and I hope it stays that way" so, just finding the worst things he can possibly say to make the most impact, what I did catch is not really affecting me. I responded to him once after the first 20 page nastygram and said, "I'm not reading any of your hateful, incel ramblings. Since you're threatening to report mom, I'll save these for the judge. If you want to talk to me, set up a time to sit down in public and we can have a civil conversation, but if you just want to spout this crap, I'm not interested in talking." And I haven't said anything since. I shouldn't have even replied and probably not mentioned court or incel, because now it's non-stop and he's defending incels. I'm saving all the messages since he's threatening to file a police report on my mother, for doing literally nothing, but I'm not reading this garbage. I honestly don't know what his goals are here. I can't understand it. Is he just trying to push me away so I don't get involved in his life? He does the same thing to his parents everyday who literally feed him and keep him warm, so I just don't get it. I thought it was a cry for help, but if anyone tries to help him, like my sister has, it's only lessens the blow for a small time till the one time you can't be there for him because you have a life too, then he's back on the offense even worse than before. Ok, I said I would try to keep this short.Anyways, on to my questions. What resources are there to help us get through to him or is he a lost cause like I've been assuming for a while? How can we get him help? What should I do from now on when it comes to him? Just ignore him? Stand up to him? I feel like that's what he wants, a reaction. My mom turned off the internet to the house and his phone today after seeing his rants to me, they're scared to go home. He still has text and voice. Was that the right move? via /r/relationship_advice https://ift.tt/3cRRRZx
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