Was anyone else here raised by a Pickmeisha mother? (Trigger warning)

I grew up with a LVM for my father and a pickme for a mom. I am a survivor of their narcissistic abuse. My family is EXTREMELY conservative. I grew up being taught that my only purpose in life was to serve others, get married, and raise obedient children. I pretty much grew up in a cult. My mom was a teacher but she never valued my education. In middle school, I was severely bullied by students and teachers alike and instead of handling the problem, she pulled me out of school and began to "homeschool" me. I spent every single day alone in my house out in the middle of nowhere from age 12 - 18. Ignored by family and unable to form real relationships with kids my age, I began spending about 10 hours a day online talking to grown men who groomed me and used me for porn.As a teenager, my mother indoctrinated me with the belief that men are the heads of the house, that as a woman, it is my duty to serve and obey with whatever man I live with, be it my father or my husband. My family never taught me things like basic life skills, social skills, or even where babies came from. The only knowledge I had about sex was through porn and from the adult men I'd talk to online. This lead me to a very dark place. Every man and boy that I was involved with in high school was horrifically abusive to me. I had one that threatened to track me down and kill me and then post my nudes online. He doxxed me on facebook, making up rumors and had his friends harass me on my phone. One man I was involved with when I was 16 was a married father of two that was 40 years old. He would tell me to do certain kinks for him on camera. He would always tell me that my age made him so horny and he would send me daily pictures and videos of himself jerking off to pictures of my face. It was scary, humiliating, all the while comforting in a fucked up way because I was a neglected child from an abusive home.I'm 24 now. I still, unfortunately, live at home with my parents, but I'm in school (dental assisting) and will graduate next fall. I am in a long-distance relationship with the sweetest, most genuine man on the planet and we are planning my escape when I graduate.While I'm in a better place than I was, I can't help but feel so SO resentful towards my parents for their horrific abuse and neglect. Who would I be today? What would it be like to have grown up with a steady support system? What would it have been like to grow up in a family where I was constantly shown love? The amount of abuse and heartache I've had to endure due to my LV parents has made me suffer immensely. While I am a much stronger person now, I will always be heartbroken when I think about where I came from.When I have kids, I will do everything in my power to give them what I never had. I'm going to tell my children about my abuse, I'm going to tell them all of the horrific details. I want them to know that they can come to me for anything. I don't want my daughter to EVER let a man define her, and I will raise my son to be a high valued man. via /r/FemaleDatingStrategy https://ift.tt/2T6yAup