Me and my partner have been together for 4 years, he is stubborn and kind of ignorant and we have two kids together. Both girls!His family is super 'huggy and kissy' and mine isn't. I feel like somewhere in between is where id like to be as a parent as I do not enjoy kissing and hugging my MIL and FIL every damn time I walk out of the house. Maybe I'm just a cold bitch but whatever 🤣Our oldest daughter (2) is a super lovey girl! She loves kisses and hugs and will wave at anyone, blow kisses and say hi when they walk by no matter who they are. It is adorable and I love it but I know it will mean boundaries in the future. I had a rough time as a teen and my boundaries were crossed many times assault/rape by a previous significant other that I have only recently come to terms with and recognized almost 15 years later. It breaks my heart that this might someday happen to my girls and I want to do everything in my power to make sure they feel comfortable and confident with saying no.Now cue my partner and his overbearing family... They come in the door and demand a kiss and hug, even if my toddler turns away from them they follow her and say "where's granny's kiss?? Where's my hug??" And laugh when she turns away then they scoop her up and she usually complies. She seems happy but it still bothers me. I always ask her if she wants a hug or a kiss and if she doesn't I don't force it. I usually just blow her a kiss or wave goodnight and then she decides she wants to give me one.My partner 'struggle snuggles' her... He scoops her up and squeezes her and forces her to cuddle with him on the couch and says things like "nope your not going nowhere daddy wants his snuggles" and she usually is squirming/yelling and trying to get away. I explained to him that it's important to give her the choice of affection and if he doesn't respect her choices that she may think it's ok for other adults to do whatever they want with her and she just has to put up with it. (I think this is an awful message to send to her) and he says it's different because he's her dad. Or different because it's grandma and grandpa.I think that even though it's family, it still matters and it makes me have this alarming anxious feeling everytime I hear them "where's my hug/kiss??" It just upsets me and I need it to stop.Because my SO is being such a jerk about it and my MIL/FIL are the same and think I wasn't loved as a child because I'm not super huggy or cuddly/kissy I need to go about this in a way that seems not about my preferences but 100% about her bodily autonomy which is what takes priority here. I need to see them respect her.Thanks everyone xo via /r/JustNoSO https://ift.tt/3j8Tofk
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