The tiger I live with

Hello. You've probably heard this story more than once. Asian parents being Asian parents, how common has that story become to the point that it's just another forgettable story to add to the pile?But at the very least, if you are reading this, whether you have gone through or are going through the same thing I am, understand that you are not alone on this. I am here to share my story about the classical Asian tiger mom and what I am going through right now.When I was a kid, I made the biggest mistake I could have made. I let the cub become the tiger.I easily obeyed my mother's wishes. I followed what she wanted and almost never went against her. I wanted her approval and love, to be recognized as an amazing son by her.I don't remember when, but that desire of love quickly turned into fear. I lived out of fear and did everything out of fear. If I didn't match what my mother wanted I was belittled and yelled at. But I still caved into the fear until 8th grade when I began to think more independently and differently.That year I considered to be hell on earth. Every day was full of both fear and pain. I was emotionally abused, physically attacked, and mentally damaged. I was always at the brink of depression but I held my ground, wanting to make myself more than just a puppet.My mother's tactics are simple but clever. She always played the victim card. When she felt she wasn't winning the argument, she began to attack my character. She attacked my identity and who I was. Then after belittling me she would stand there, eyes full of tears, as she called herself the victim in this mother-son relationship. That I was the one hurting her. That no one understood her and she didn't raise me right. Sometimes she said she didn't want to take care of me and threatened to divorce with my father. She would constantly mention she wished she was back in her own country and wished I was raised there so I could understand she was truly a benevolent and kind mother among many others who she painted as "cruel" and "inhumane". She blamed American culture and continued to point out "if you were living in my home country, you would be having it so much worse".My father tried to reason with me that my mother was doing all this because she cared for me, but all that did was make me feel like what I was going through was common and insignificant. That it was foolish to ask for help for a life I should be grateful of.Having a tiger mom isn't a funny joke. It's demoralizing and frankly heartbreaking to face. When I find someone who's going through the same thing I am, I can only watch and listen, and give them a hug because I understand too well the amount of mental suffering one must go through.But I chose to fight back, and despite this still happening, I still choose to be positive. I choose to be happy and choose to be a kinder person than I was the day before. via /r/AsianParentStories https://ift.tt/2GmF6dQ