My oldest daughter is 10, and has gone from a super skinny kid to a developing preteen in the blink of an eye. She has gained weight that she honestly desperately needed to gain, but it has left her feeling self conscious of the weight gain mostly showing in her midsection. It is a big change for her self image not to be the skinniest in the room. We have never made a huge stink of it, besides commenting on how hard it was to find pants to fit her tall, skinny frame...but other kids and family have always commented on how very skinny she was.The other struggle is that she is a very picky eater, has always been very focused on how her food looks and eats certain things on rotation since she was very young. Her food range is heavy carb leaning but she does also like chicken and fruits a lot. I attribute a lot of that to ADHD and we have spent her whole life encouraging her to try new foods, while also trying to get her to eat enough. Her appetite increased 10 fold over the summer, but her range of food choices has remained the same (much to my everlasting frustration). Her weight is now in the healthy rage for the first time in her life and I am so relieved honestly but worry about the effect it is having on her. Her Dad and I are both doing our best (as we do with ever bump in the parenting road) but I find myself struggling to handle this.I have always fluctuated quit a bit in weight myself due to pregnancies and medications (between 130-150lbs) which is quit noticeable on my 5ft frame. My first big weight fluctuation was in high school, when I went from an underweight 90lbs to about 150 pounds in a few months due to side effects of antidepressants...this really messed with my self esteem and is a huge reason I still struggle to feel good about myself today. I also watched my own mother struggle with her weight and yo-yo dieting throughout my life.I am afraid, I have been more vocal about my unhappiness when I am at the high end of these fluctuations then I have realized. I know that she has heard me saying negative things about my weight and struggle with body image. Things like overhearing me ask my husband “Does this make me look fat?” Or saying “I cant eat this I need to loose weight”. Although my attempts to stay in my goal weight are somewhat motivated by health and high BMI, I am mostly concerned about how I look and feel if I am being honest.I have spoken to her about healthy eating throughout her life...that being healthy is most important, now how we look. This has mostly been framed around her being ultra skinny, but now more focused on her understanding that it is totally normal to gain weight like this at her age-her body is gearing up for a lot of changes. She seems to understand this, but I can still see her struggling to accept how her body has changed so quickly.I am realizing more and more that I have not demonstrated to her the things I have talked to her about... I really want to do everything I can to keep her from developing the same insecurities I have surrounding my weight. How do you all incorporate body image and body positivity into parenting? Or how did your parents effect your own body image growing up either negatively or positively? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3k61zu1
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