My family is so fucking toxic.

My family is the most toxic shit ive ever had in my life. I cant even express myself without my parents getting made bc THEY think its ugly. Like I DONT think its ugly but MY PARENTS thinks its ugly. Ive told them multiple times, i dont care about anyone's opinion on me no more because i just dont so if i cut my eyebrow and you think its ugly, oh well cry yourself to sleep.My mom is the most toxic one. I dont know what it is about her but she literally thinks she had control over my body (So as my dad but not as badly as my mom). She wont let me do small things like dying my hair an unnatural color or cutting my eyebrow because SHE thinks its "ugly". Its MY hair its MY body so as long as im not trying to inject myself with some drug why the fck does she feel like she owns me.Last time i cut my eyebrow, she yelled at me and i was like "do yall think its ugly or something cause i dont care" and she was like "Yes i think its ugly" And wouldn't give me a real reason as to why i should cut my hair. She constantly tears me down in different ways like criticizing me or her favorite, saying shit like "your just dirty" or "Your too dirty for a girl". Basically tears me down by always reminding me im "dirty". I had really bad depression back in 2019 and it really hit me hard and i wasnt taking showers or taking care of myself in general and those habits have just kinda stuck with me a little since then. My mom told me i couldnt dye my hair because "its too grown". That is the most BS excuse ive ever heard and if i have kids i will never use that BS sh!t on them. Also lets not forget how my mom always plays the victim.My dad is toxic but a lil better then my mom. Last time i cut my eyebrow again he went on a whole rant on how "ThiS iS whY kIdS CanT dO sHiT ON THeirR oWN aND paReNtS hAVE TO sIGn A paPER FOR THem to GeT to TAtToOs" And he had the AUDACITY TO SAY SOME SHIT LIKE "well depressed people like cutting themselves because it makes them feel good too" AFTER I TOLD HIM "I cut my eyebrow bc it makes me feel good and i like it." AM I HARMING MYSELF??? NO. SO LET ME DO WHAT I WANT WITH MY BODY FOR FUCKS SAKE. Also lets not forget how he tries to constantly drill in my brain that the only worth a girl has is her virginity and if she loses it before marriage then shes useless and no man will want her. Just toxic all around. Also the only reason why im writing this is because my mom screaming at me pressuring me to finish all my homework in the span of like 2 hours.Ohh yeah and almost forgot! Lets not forget my Dad yelling at me because a few months ago i wanted to be a green witch and he saw the books i was ordering in my amazon cart and just went off on how it was "demonic" and "Not father gods work" and one time i played a frequency on my laptop and cleansed my water to cleanse my room and pour the rest in my plants. It was raining and i still poured the water in my plants and my dad saw that from the window so when i went back inside while i was just happy in my room this man comes busting in my room talking about "wHaT Did YoU do WITh ThE WAtER" and i was so confused at first but i realized what he meant and i told him what i do and he was like "well you didnt have to do that you could of just prAYed TO god to cleanse your water, but your gonna get caught" (his dumbass fucking thought i was doing witchcraft).And he just went on a rant about how i was gonna get "caught" by my mom one day and shes gonna be mad. I dont share the same faith with my family (i believe in stuff like you're your own god and the universe and shit like that and they believe in the Christian god dude). He knows we dont have the same faith but had the audacity she that i was looking at the type of Fairies and went "You have the spirit of a pastor and reading that ( talking about me reading the fairies thing) will only get you betty from the store but reading Christianity will get you to talk to kings and queens" And yall that PISSED me off so fucking much ngl because I DONT SHARE THE SAME FAITH AND I AM NOT INTRESTED IS SHARING THE SAME CHRISTAN FAITH!!!I also got mad when he had the audacity to tell me "Your have the spirit of a pastor and reading that will only get you betty from the store but reading Christianity will get you to talk to kings and queens". SIR i want to be a SPIRITUAL TEACHER, now not a monk (no hate against them but its just not in my best interest but idk yet bc i havent looked into it) not a Christian pastor, maybe a yogi, BUT I WANT TO BE A SPIRITUAL TEACHER. Im pretty young to so i think id have more of an impact on the world if i was a spiritual teacher rather than a pastor. Im just not interested in Christianity anymore and tbh i was just worshipping this god out of fear. Since i was young ive never had a connection with this god but when i heard about spirituality it was an instant connection. Like i never had real faith in "god" bc ive never seen them but even tho i havent seen my spirit guides I KNOW they're real, I believe in them more than i did god.TLDR: But yea anyway, my family is toxic and dont let me express myself and also give me religious trauma. I will never be like my parents I DONT CARE.Also mom is homophobic but im bi and already like some girls at my school. via /r/Vent https://ift.tt/3jw2Fil