I’m tired

I spent half of 2020 sitting at home busying myself with video games and sleeping and sometimes the lurking thoughts would get to me and they’d be so difficult to get out. So I’d wish I had something better to distract myself with. I was looking forward to starting uni and trying to become a productive student. But I was just kidding myself. I hate the pressure, stress, anxiety and overwork I suffer from everyday. I have to maintain a GPA as to not lose my scholarship but it feels so difficult and even though it stresses me out, I still sit in bed and either do nothing or sleep it out. And everyone questions why I sleep so much. It’s like I can’t sit 5 minutes with myself and my own thoughts without wanting to commit. It’s been longer than a year with this cycle and it’s getting worse. Part of me wants to finish quarantine and physically go to uni so i can see people and avoid sleeping between classes. The other part doesn’t want to continue. I’m trying to show people but my parents keep shrugging it off and telling me “What can we do? We just have to remain patient till quarantine ends.” I know that I can enjoy my life, I have good friends, good family, good grades. I just can’t seem to do that though and it’s so tiring. I have 0 clue where to go from here. via /r/depression https://ift.tt/3iZ6bkt