I (18F) have had kind of a rough time. I’m the middle child of three girls, with my older sister being 27 as of writing, and my younger being 16.When I was 12, my mother and my father divorced. My father was a horrible person. I can’t get into it here without breaking Rule 5, but it’s been so long I’m ok to answer any PMs about it.My mother was so upset after that, and somewhere along the way I decided I’d do whatever I could to make sure she had an easier day. I’d cook dinner (usually just pasta until I got older), I’d volunteer to do chores my younger sister didn’t do, I’d take my mother’s suggestions with anything, let field trips pass me by so she didn’t have to stress, etc etc.But this also came with me thinking, for some reason, I needed to shove my emotions down too. I spent my teenage years as a quiet kid. I got good grades, I never asked for new things, I dealt with being forgotten. This persisted until I was about 17.Now that I’ve graduated, and I realize exactly where all my silence got me, I’ve gotten really, really angry. I realize all the things that should’ve happened.I’ve never been to the dentist. I haven’t been to the doctor since seventh grade. There I was diagnosed with severe scoliosis, and now I get backaches every single day. I haven’t even learned how to drive, despite me expressing that I’m ready over and over again. It’s embarrassing as all hell to say to someone at 18 that I don’t even have my learners’. I have the same clothes and the same phone I got in 8th grade.I reached my breaking point late in my senior year, when I begged my mom to take me to therapy. I was at the lowest point I’ve ever been.She refused, and yelled at me for calling her a “terrible parent” because, and I quote, “why do you need therapy? only bad mothers have to send their children to therapy. so you’re calling me a bad mother.”I also expressed to her that I shut my emotions down as a teenager to help her not have two unruly daughters to deal with (my younger sister has anger issues). She told me, to my face, that I should keep doing it and keep them to myself.I don’t understand her. My younger sister almost got arrested for truancy and my mother took her to therapy for it no questions asked. My sister throws her phone out a window because she gets angry, and immediately gets a new, much better one. My phone from eighth grade is in mint condition, but crashes and freezes every three seconds, and I’m called selfish for even mentioning this to my mother. My sister gets a flatscreen, an xbox, a Google Home, and new clothes, while I’m sitting here with a broken 3Ds and a CRT. I know it’s not my sister’s fault, but she’s spoiled fucking rotten. I don’t know what I did.I’m stuck up at my older sister’s house for right now because of Corona travel bans, and we’ve spent a few nights just venting to each other about this. But I still just can’t convince myself that I’m not overreacting about this.AITA for feeling so angry towards her? via /r/AmItheAsshole https://ift.tt/30CQh9a
Tuesday, October 6, 2020
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