Should I go NC with my mother?

My mother is basically an adult sized pre-teen. She loves drama, doesn’t know how to mind her own business and throws temper tantrums. I’m debating going NC with her- pending requirements. Those requirements will be that she must go to at least 2 consecutive therapy sessions and plan to continue going before I’m willing to even consider having any type of relationship with her again. I tried to provide back ground information and the situation at hand without making this a 7 page essay. It's already longer than I wanted so if you need more info just ask.Growing up, my grandparents appeased my mother, which is largely why I believe she is the way she is. Something doesn’t go her way, she absolutely freaks out, does something horrible to you, and then shows up one day pretending nothing happened and everything all good. My grandfather specifically just let her do this. If one of us tries to take a stand he says “just let it go and forget it”. This is why she hasn’t changed.Growing up, initially she was a good mom. When my parents were together, everything was great. But then they got divorced and my mom lost her mind. She struggled with MANY things herself during this time so I try to give her some slack- she did have 2 kids, lost her main income, had some medical issues, and worked 3 jobs to support us (or her credit card debt rather, child support was more than enough for basic necessities).My brother committed suicide when I was 15 (currently 22) and my mother found him. Extremely traumatic for everyone, but especially her. Neither of us spent much time at home after this, that first year was a revolving door of being at other people’s houses, and generally not with each other. 16-17 we didn’t get along well. She blamed everyone but herself for my brother’s death, and I don’t mean to imply that she should or was responsible, but if you want to blame people you should probably also accept some. Our childhood was not great after they divorced, I am the younger sister and I was basically the mother. I cooked, cleaned, got us up for school, etc. My mother worked overnight and during the day, so if we were home she was at work, if we were at school she was home. She mostly blamed me and my father. My brother and I had a fight the night before he died and she has never let me forget this. My father went with my brother to buy the gun, he doesn’t get to forget this either. Doesn’t make any difference to her that she was the one who allowed the gun into HER house.She loves attention and does anything to get it. Everything has to be about her, very woe-is-me personality. I moved out at 17 (I graduated early and was in college at this point) and never looked back. I do feel bad because I’m all she has besides her parents and sister (doesn’t talk to her- she left an angry voicemail on Christmas a few years ago saying she hopes my aunts kids die so she knows what it’s like. The kids heard. She also tells me cousin he is the “mini *brothers name*”).The most recent event that has happened which makes me consider going NC involves my grandfather who just had surgery on his face due to cancer. He is a very private person, doesn’t share his personal information, doesn’t want anyone to worry, etc. He didn’t even tell me he was having this surgery, my aunt did. After he got out and was all good, my mom posted a photo of him on Facebook and a story about the cancer, surgery, recovery etc. I texted her and said she should take it down, he wouldn’t like that and it’s not her business to share. She said “delete me then” and I reiterated that wasn’t my point, my point is it’s not your business to share and he wouldn’t want you to. She blocked my phone number and my facebook. The next day, she was supposed to go help my grandparents and spend the night, but decided she didn’t want to 10 minutes before she was supposed to be there. I went instead and stayed with them. When asked by my aunt, her reasoning for all of this is “I’m sick of people telling me what to do”.Right now, she’s not talking to me so I’m not concerned but at some point she is going to pop up like nothing happened and expect me to forgive her. I don’t think I want to unless she commits to going to therapy and getting herself help. I can’t let my own mother pick and choose when she wants to be in my life and how she wants to treat me. What does reddit think I should do? I’ll try to answer all comments throughout the day and provide more info when asked. via /r/raisedbynarcissists https://ift.tt/3hXSiSQ