I apologize for the incredibly long story.So someone recommend this thread to me but I honestly don’t know if my parents are narcissists.So, for context rn, I(18f) have NC with my dad(48m) and am in contact with my mom(46f) but we have issues right below the surface level charade we keep up.For starters, I’ll tell you about my parents so you can kinda get an idea of why they did what I’ll talk about later.My mom was raised by a untreated bipolar narcissist who emotionally blackmailed and gaslighted all 5 of her children, she was abusive in just about everyway, even allowing s-xual abuse to happen to her daughters.The was, of course, incredibly damaging to my mother who was not the GC. She developed a mentality of “wolf eats the sheep.” And has kept it all her life, proud of it even though it’s ruined her relationships.She’s also incapable of picking men who are capable of healthy, emotional, love. She picks men who are unavailable, married, or completely screwed emotionally to try and fill the gaping hole of worthlessness her mother left in her. If she can make them love her, it will prove to her that she is capable of being loved.Enter my father, who was neglected by his parents. They never met his emotionally needs and showed their ‘love’ by providing for him financially. I.e if they hurt his feelings, they would buy him something.This warped his sense of love into people can only love and only show love by providing for others financially. So you can of course imagine, he was in awe when his first baby was born and she loved him because he was her daddy and that was it.Now, that first baby isn’t my sibling, no dear reader, that first baby was born to his wife whom he had 3 children with. Now, if the wife isn’t my mom, you can only guess how I’m here.Yup, an affair.Remember, mom chased men that were emotionally unavailable, married, or completely screwed emotionally. Welp, dad hit the jackpot and she wanted him.She got him too. She had three kids with him as well and for twenty years, which I was alive for 14 of, the wife and her played tug a war for him.Now, he was a liar, he favored his sons, and he never was around on most birthdays but he did go all out for Christmas. The problem was, my dad loves babies because babies love unconditionally and they don’t know their parents can do wrong.The older we got though, the more he could see us getting mad at the lies, or the fact he didn’t live with us, or that he wouldn’t let my sister and me take his last name but my brother could have it.And the more he saw our rose-tinted glasses lifting, the more restless he got. By this point, I was 10 and he was itching for that sweet release of new baby love.Unfortunately, both his wife and my mom were done having babies. They were too busy fighting over him and pitting their children against each other.So he left them both for a woman 23 years younger who had two young daughtersNow, during this, he had bought my mom a house and my family lived there. All kinda settled for about 4 years.In this time period: My mom and dad threatened to institutionalization my sister for sneaking out, my brother took pictures of bruises and claimed them as abuse from my mom, my mom put my brother against the wall and forced him to move in with my dad because she was so angry at that. My sister got pregnant at 16 and had a son, sparking a whole thing were my mom would call the police to bring her home from the baby daddys house.That all took about 4 years to unfold so finally it was just me and mom in the house. Now you’ve read about my dad but you’ve yet to hear much on my moms crimes so here they are.One thing is, my brother was enormously favored in comparison to my sister and I growing up. She petted my brother because he has ADHD and bipolar disorder so she didn’t hold him as accountable for messing up as she did my and my sister.She seems to favor me most now though, seeing as both my siblings are high-school dropouts while I’m in college. Not saying I am better for that, I’m just saying it’s now why I am the GC instead of my brother.Swinging back around to after this four year shitshow, my mom met a man who was about 20 years younger than herself. They work the same job shift, nights, and he lived closer so instead of coming home, she would go to his house and sleep then go to work from there.Meaning that at 14, I was left to my own devices in an empty house. Would’ve been very fun, had I not always been short on food and a complete introvert with no friends to sneak over.My mom would bring groceries at the end of every week but I didn’t know how to cook and it was never enough to last the six days she was gone so I was always hungry after about three days.I lost a lot of weight during that time and became incredibly lonely. My group of ‘friends’ ended up pulling a terrible move and becoming my bullies instead of my friends and my health declined even more from it.Eventually, the school realized something was wrong when my grades, which I worked hard to keep at a B, tanked and they got concerned.Now, I’m downplaying this situation but the truth is, the neglect was so severe that other family members knew, even my BIL by my sister knew. He and his mom would ‘bring the baby to visit!’ And leave me with food and drinks because they knew I was lonely and had nothing to eat or drink in the house.Eventually, his mom called CPS as did the school and an investigation was opened. That was promptly shut tight because my mom came home, cleaned the house, stocked the kitchen, and stayed home regularly until it was over.Afterwards, she went right back to the previous behavior.DADS BACK. He comes back for one last gut punch to my fragile teen mental health. See, he had five people crammed into a two bedroom house and then, because the little girls were getting too old, he got his wife pregnant!See, the house I lived in had two upstairs rooms and three downstairs one. The perfect amount of room right? Only one problem- me and mom.So he tells us we have to leave within a month so he can move his new family in. We don’t have a choice, seeing as it’s his name on the deed and morgage.Where did we go, you may wonder? An apartment close to my school? A new home for rent?Don’t be ridiculous, we just moved in with my moms boyfriend! Her boyfriend who was only 6 years older than me and who I had only met once before.Gut punch #3: she made me leave my little dog I had got on my 8th birthday behind because he wouldn’t get along with her boyfriends dog. But we took her rowdy and dog aggressive pitbull which was illegal to have where we moved.My dad promised to adopt my little dog and take care of him but when my older( by ten years) half brother went to make sure of it, he found out my dad had driven him a town over and dumped him at a farmers market.My little dog now lives with my older half brother and is an incredibly pampered little city dog but that’s besides the point.So we lived with the boyfriend for 2 years. I went NC with my dad once I realized he was serious about kicking us out and have not been in contact with him for 4, nearly 5, years.After those two years, they split up and we moved to an incredibly ghetto area. Some other things happened over that time period but none were nearly as traumatic as my early teens.Again, I don’t know if this behavior could be narcissism or just trauma from their own childhoods in the cycle of abuse but either way, I just wanted to share my story. It makes me feel better to talk about it. via /r/raisedbynarcissists https://ift.tt/2Ewte85
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