4.5 years, this hurts

We are both in school about 2 hour train ride away from each other. We were generally very happy together. We would often talk about our future wedding, future kids, we knew we were right for each other. She loved me dearly and I loved her just as much. But the past two months have taken a toll on us. No physical contact, the constant fighting over text which resulted in the wrong words being said, the unwillingness to call each other. Love was still in the air but at the same time it was not. She pulled the cord the other day when we called and said she needed time to prioritize herself (she's very busy with extracurriculars and work) and thanked me for the memories. I was so torn apart. I tried finding solutions but the fact of the matter is, we've had a long time to figure out solutions. We would always say "this year we'll see each other twice a month".. only to see each other 7 times a year. This was hard on both of us. 3 days in, I can barely sleep. I can't even force myself to eat because I vomit unintentionally. I can't focus on school. Mornings are rough, every day at 4 a.m. I wake up and try to get back to sleep. I'm too hot and too cold at the same time. My heart is racing. A part of me keeps saying just wait for her to come back but I dont even know if she will, so why bother. I'm heading back to my parents' house in the meantime to heal. School is online so there is no reason for me to stay in this apartment all by myself. Thank you for reading. I'm sorry to everyone that's going through this just as I am. via /r/BreakUps https://ift.tt/3coNGnP