I have a friend who I’ve known now for about three years. We’re almost the same age she’s 31 I’m 29. We both have two kids and I have one on the way. We met at work and spent a lot of time together inside and outside the shop. We developed a close friendship really quickly and it was great. It was like we just synced up. I always had trouble making good friends or any friends at all growing up from all the moving we did during and after my parents divorce, and until I joined the service. If I ever managed to make a friend or two I was always coming into a grouping of people who knew each other through high school or just did shit I was never into like partying or smoking pot or having casual sex. The people who didn’t do that had no interest in me so there was no making friends in those circles either.So flash forward to almost 8 years in the service and working around the same people in the same MOS pretty much the entire time. I have maybe two people who I can rely on in an emergency but who I would not consider close friends because we have never once spent time together socially.Recently I lost a friend who is a wife of a coworker over one single misunderstanding in a text and who won’t return any texts of mine or phone calls. I always see her on social media and I see her husband on there reacting to my posts and commenting, etc. I haven’t heard from her in almost two months. She’s done this before where I don’t hear from her for months and then all of a sudden she wants to get together. Usually when her other actual BF is busy or whatever. Again, another friendship I entered as a fall back without knowing.I just found out maybe an hour ago that a friend of mine has completely blocked me from everything with zero explanation. I have no idea what I did to deserve that but they just ghosted me. I’ve spent so much time with them just opening up and they’ve done the same. Weird to think that this is a completely platonic friendship with a guy I worked with in my shop, and that it was so open and honest. He was dating someone for a few months when we had initially started our friendship (grabbing lunch or just taking breaks outside). Nothing weird or tense or uncomfortable. Just completely chill. I’ve been through some rough shit while we were friends and seen a friends baby who was killed by a sitter laid in the ground. That day I left the funeral and went to his house because I couldn’t go home and I he was just there for me and let me talk about it. Nothing weird. No moves, nothing more than a hug when I really lost it talking about the little baby coffin being the favorite color of the baby. He was there for me then and I was always there when he needed to vent about his girl or work or family or whatever he needed. And today. Just ghosted.Yesterday I found out that this super close friend of mine who I met a few years back has been consistent blowing me off for a group of girls who are absolute scum. Adulterous, druggies, taking all the dudes at their command for a spin, dumping their kids off God knows where to go get shit faced almost every week. During three years being friends with this girl I’ve trained her, supported her personally, and literally been there to take her to the hospital and in the delivery room right by her side holding her hand when she gave birth to her firstborn son. I brought her meals with her second born and made sure she always had me to fall back on if she needed. So back to this year. She’s getting divorced. She began an affair soon after realizing she didn’t want to be married anymore. Although the adultery pissed me off I was happy that she had some relief and I thought she’s found someone who could really be a partner. Turns out she just threw herself at him after a mild flirtation because shit with her husband sucked. After a couple weeks into her affair and still sleeping with her husband, she finds out she’s pregnant. She claims she had a period after the last time she slept with her husband so it couldn’t be his. I told her that I’d be there for her if she decided to keep the baby and if she didn’t that I’d help her get through that. The thought of abortion makes me want to puke but I wanted to continue supporting her because it’s not my choice and she was hanging out with these girls who are just fucking plain evil. They encouraged her to have the abortion and not one of them offered to support her if she decided to have the baby except me. I offered for her to move in with me into my house rent free until she finds a place she can settle. I offered to support her in any way she needed with her two other children. She’s called us family before. That’s what I thought we were. She told me how scared she was to have it and how much she didn’t want to. She was pressured by the suspected father (her affair) to have it and by these other women. I told her that she didn’t have to do it and she would always have my support and she and her baby and kids would never be alone. I thought we were really family. The kind you make. She got the abortion. She ignored my offers to help her there and home and accepted the help from one of these women. This one in particular I knew from training when she was “my friend” until I found out she’d left her husband for a classmate because she was tired of dealing with his disease (Lupus) and was engaged in less than a month to the guy she was having an affair with. I never heard from her after training ended.So now this friend of mine who had the abortion is always calling me or texting me about her affair and how he’s treating her like shit. He’s having mood swings all the time and their communication is awful. He’s also still married with two kids which his wife has custody of. So he’s a real catch obviously. They’re both still married mind you. Each with two kids who they don’t have custody of. So she’s telling me his faults and how she’s done and over the past few weeks she’s been posting left and right while she’s out partying with these other women. Including while she was still pregnant. So there was a clue I guess as to how she felt in the first place about keeping her baby. Partying while pregnant. I ordered her flowers and made her soup to make her feel better after she had the procedure and I heard from her that day and maybe a few other times in the past month or so. I’ve asked her if she wants to come over or to grab lunch or even just coffee and it’s always a no because she’s busy with her kids or just plain busy (I have two kids of my own so I understand that). These days that she’s been busy I’ve just let it gone she I get she needs to cut loose a little bit. What is eating me up is that she’s bitching to me about how much she wants her kids with her and doesn’t want to lose custody of them, but then when she doesn’t have them she’s out partying like she’s this wild party girl with no attachments. She bitches to me how upset am depressed she always is and then turns around and goes out drinking or whatever and posts about how she just needs to “get away” and “unwind”. At this point it’s feeling like the only reason I’ve ever been around for her has been to puff her up and make her feel better so she can turn around and have a good time with someone else she deems to be more fun. She has never once. NOT EVER. Invited me out for a drink or to go dancing or the beach or anything that she’s doing with all these other people. Ever. I’m not 80 years old. I like to go out and have a good time like anyone else. This is just the situation I keep finding myself in with her. I let her vent and then I get left in the fucking dust. I’m not sure how to even approach this because I know she’s been through a lot lately. I’ve never been able to confront a friend about how they treat me. Even if it’s clearly like shit. via /r/badfriends https://ift.tt/3nUuQu7
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