This all happened over the course of the past week and a half. I made this throwaway just for this and I feel like I'm doing completely crazy. Sorry its SUPER LONG.So I grew up with my mom and dad, I'll just call mom, my older brother, Luke who is 3 years older than me. (Fake name for obvious reasons) I'm a 23F. My mom and dad got a divorce because he cheated and got another woman pregnant while my mom was in her early pregnancy. So that resulted in my little half brother who is a few months younger than me. He's okay and so I'm not really gonna mention other than we were raised apart but my brother and I went to the same school as him at times and we talk now.Our dad did actually stay and raise us but my parents apparently dated different people but pretended to be a couple so that we wouldn't notice anything wrong. My mom only explained this after he died when I was 17. My parents barely scraped by when I was a kid. So oftentimes they would work 2 jobs and never around which led to my brother being with me a lot. I remember often how as kids he would cook for me, take care of me, put me to bed, read me stories until I fell asleep, sneak me things that our parents forbid us to eat, etc. Like literally the perfect brother. We grew up completely inseparable best friends as could possibly be. We don't look much alike actually. I have tan skin with the soulless dark type of dark brown eyes and long black hair that is naturally straight at the top, wavy in the middle, and turns into a spiral only at the last few inches. I have the type of here literally everyone wants and people pretty much always talk to me and play with my hair to this day. My brother is light skin with hazel eyes and dirty brown hair. My dad didn't even think he was his son until they took a paternity test. My dad is a Native American mix with very dark skin and black eyes and hair like mine. and my mom is from Russia with platinum blonde hair and the lightest blue eyes I've ever seen, almost like a husky's eyes.My brother was always considered the super hot guy in my school and girls pretty much were always wanting his attention. They drooled over his eye color since it was a brighter type of hazel that really do stand out. He's always done perfectly in school. People noticed him and I had matching interests and hobbies and always stayed together and thought we were a perfect couple since we were always together as soon as I got into his high school. But then quickly dropped it when we said we were siblings. I got extremely popular with guys as they said I was super attractive and stuff too, but it brought a bunch of hate to me as girls bullied me because they thought I was a threat or something. People eventually left me alone when they noticed I rarely speak at all. When in high school my brother picked up lockpicking (This is important), he actually told me about it and got me into it too, so we practiced in every room of our house. We can now unlock any and all doors in our house in less than 5 seconds. We also are the only ones who don't knock on each other's doors when coming in. We always did it with our grandparents and parents but not each other. With each other, we just walk into the other's room like it's our own.Also, I told me that I wasn't interested in anyone, and will not have sex as I was wanting to only lose my virginity to someone who I'm married to. When I was 17 I was raped by a guy who was my "friend" and another couple of friends of his. This pretty much destroyed me and I wasn't able to do anything school-wise since and my dad had a heart attack and died when he finally was told what happened so I blamed myself for a long time. My brother was with me after that a lot being protective of me and always kind and caring.Fast forward I'm 21, I do work and volunteer at vet offices. I meet and marry my husband Ren (Fake name too) who is this Japanese guy. I already speak Japanese and stuff. I talk to my husband in Japanese, talk to Luke in English, and to my mom in Russian all the time lol. I learned Japanese just for the purpose of marrying someone who is Japanese as they are what I'm most attracted to and I simply love the culture and language more than anything. Ren was the perfect husband too.Now for recent. I have extremely bad health problems. I have 0 immune system, so a simple cold is actually deadly to me. and a bunch of other stuff. I'm fully dependant on Ren. I became stage 3 in one of my illnesses when I was 22 and there's no cure or treatment for it. Luckily it seems to be much better now. I only verbally speak to family and extremely close. Since high school, no one else really heard my voice aside from husband, brother, mother, grandmother, and a lifelong male friend who is also Japanese and about as close to me as my brother and husband are.Due to riots and virus and everything, my brother lost his job and moved back with my mom, For the same reasons my husband and I moved to my mom's place. It's actually a huge house. My dad's life insurance made us suddenly live comfortably and she used it to buy a big house and afford our education and everything. We never were unstable since. About 2 months ago she said she was moving to Texas. We're from the west coast. That's a huge difference to me. During the time my brother convinced me to try going back to school and said he believes in me. I tried and impressed myself with having straight A's again. My mom moved out last Monday. That's when things began to change.Last Wednesday my brother came up to me while I was doing homework and he asked me about my sex life with my husband. I just answered his questions truthfully not thinking of it as I was focused on my homework. The only time I paid attention to my husband and his questions fully was when he asked about my birth control. And I said I got it replaced last year (IUD), and he asked if it really works. I got annoyed and said "Well, duh. You don't see a baby crying in the house, do you?" He then asked something like if my husband always finishes inside raw and if I get worried it will fail. I got really uncomfortable. I don't know why, but I told him the truth of yes he does every time, and I also know I the birth control works well and won't fail because it can't be tampered with. And then pointed out I haven't had a period since I was 19 so that's another reason too.That's when he just changed. He just got really quiet and stared at me. I told him I had to go back to studying and after nearly a minute I turned around and he was still staring at me which really creeped me out. For the first time, I just had this absolutely horrible dread feeling towards him and asked him if there was something on me or something like that. He just smiled at me and said "Thanks for telling that." and left and I was just like what in the hell? I then thought that maybe he's being weird cuss mom just moved halfway across the country 3 days ago.The next day things were normal. Until my husband went to his office late. My husband rented an office that he can stay in late at night for when he has too much homework. He doesn't wanna keep me up. His master's degree means he was to actually like, verbally record progress and make videos and be noisy and stuff. So he just does it out of the house. My husband left at around 8, and my brother just suddenly came in at 9ish maybe 10. It's sorta a blur now, but I remembered the time perfectly like 2 days ago. I can't even remember the conversation anymore that led up to it. But I know he made me extremely uncomfortable. And I literally got up and told him to get out of my room. He said no, and I just decided to leave myself.When I passed him he grabbed my arm and very roughly pulled me back and slammed me into the wall which left a dent in it. Then grabbed my hair and yanked me on my bed. When I was screaming asking what the hell he was doing he put his hand on my chest and pinned me down that way. I swear to god he had no humanity in his eyes at all. He didn't even look at me like I was a person at all. He's never done anything like this before. I only began going from really angry to terrified when he put his hand under my dress and began lifting it. He slapped me in the face while I was screaming and crying which busted my lip then covered my mouth while screaming at me to "shut the fuck up". I tried my best to fight him off but it didn't do anything at all. He's exactly a foot taller than me. I'm 5'2, Luke is 6'2.He raped me. I felt so heartbroken and betrayed. I got extremely unstable. He said during it that his biggest fantasy ever was to finish inside of someone raw, just like my husband does to me, and now he can do that and have his fantasy with me. When he was done I pretty much was really numb. I moved my bookshelf so that no one saw the dent. I only realized what really happened some 2 hours later and just completely broke down for hours by myself not wanting anyone to see me this way.The next day, on Friday my brother and I, got in a huge screaming match which never happened before either and he got very violent. I barely got away from him after I got out of his grip. My husband was there. He literally watched and did nothing. Just stared at us. I had to run and hide in my room. He picked my lock really fast after he realized I locked it. I had to grab into the handle and twist it in the opposite direction he did, and he nearly broke the door down trying to get to me. During that, I screamed that I hated him. I wished he would die. Our mom should have aborted him just like she was about to when she was pregnant with him and that I wished she would have never changed her mind last second. I then screamed like some sort of unholy banshee sound I never made before screaming things like "How could you do that to me. I'm your fucking little sister. I don't understand how you can do something like that to me." And stuff like that.He eventually gave up and left me and I tried to end myself as soon as I ran out and saw a knife. That's when my husband reacted for the first time. Right as I was gonna swing the knife down on my arm he grabbed my arm and yanked me so hard I nearly flew. and he had to fight with me and hold me down while my brother took the knife from me. I screamed more asking how he could have done it to me. I don't remember anything else after that for the night aside from my husband being there trying to calm me down as I was just hysterical for an hour after crying my eyes out.My brother raped me again on Saturday, then again on Tuesday. Then for yesterday, it was Wednesday. My husband seemed to get really cold to me. I tried talking to me and he just told me to go away. He later in the day sapped and screamed at me. He's never screamed at me before. Ren was just screaming than when I cried and went to the room he followed me. He told me that I'm so unstable and it's unbearable and when he looks at me he gets stressed out. I told him that it's because of Jack. He said he doesn't care. He said Jack isn't a bad person. He does nothing wrong. And that I'm the one that has the issues.I actually was so shocked I couldn't even complete a proper sentence for like a minute before finally saying how he could possibly think that beating and rape is okay. He said he doesn't believe it because he doesn't see it. I nearly lost my mind screaming back at him before he said my brother is in the right to do that. And that it was my fault. I said he's absolutely insane to siding with Luke. He actually laughed. Then said to get out of the room. I told him he's so fucking messed up and he got really mad and was about to hit me but hesitated last second and I just ran out.Later that night Ren wanted to have sex. I said absolutely freaking not since he supports a god, damn abuser. He didn't care, he rolled on top of me and I just was too shocked to respond and he did whatever he wanted with me. I couldn't even sleep until 7AM because of this.As for today. Today is my breaking point of where I can't just keep it in anymore. I woke up to Luke getting on top of me. I don't know what time it was but it was fully bright and sunny. I was already and naked, and he was too. I tried to yell but I was so groggy and not prepared for anything at all. That's when I noticed my husband too. He was standing at an angle that I didn't realize he was there until Luke laid on me. He just stared at me silently as I screamed and begged him to help. He just had no emotion on his face and left when I screamed when Luke got inside of me.I honestly feel so stressed out and dead inside. I don't know what to do at all. I really don't. I don't know if it's my fault. I don't know if I'm really in the wrong like my brother and husband say I am if I really am overreacting or not. I can't even think straight. I cont wanna get anyone in trouble at all but like at the same time I don't want anyone to know. If my mom finds out she's going to die. Shes 1 leg in the grave already so any added stress will actually kill her. I can't just move out or else its pretty much death to me. My best friend might let me in but at the same time he's a very influenced person and idolizes the hell out of my brother and husband. So god forbid if they actually tell him to do something he will actually side with them too or maybe just participate as well. I feel so stuck.My health condition makes it impossible to actually survive in general as the food accommodation is so specific that if there is even a simple mistake its fatal, any contracted sickness is fatal, missing medication is fatal, and everything and I'm in such a horrible position. I just want things to go back to normal like it was 2 weeks ago. I want my mom back home. Please, can someone give me some advice?TL;DRAfter my mom moved out 2 weeks ago, my brother raped me 3 days later and has been doing it since, my husband knows and even saw a bit of it and sides with my brother. Now he's doing it too and leaving means I will die due to severe health problems. I need the advice on what to do. via /r/abuse https://ift.tt/2IDSMC1
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