I'm coming on this forum since I had it up to here with dealing with my mother. I'll give you all a brief history and I'll hope you can all give me your best recommendations. I had some weird roller coaster life that I've accepted doesn't fit the norm for many people, and I am currently trying to better myself and follow my own personal goals. I cannot change my past, but I hope to live a better future. Still, I live with my mother, and nearly every waking moment, she has something negative to say about me. After exploring myself, I'm starting to question my own reality.When I was a child, my mother would constantly beat me with her hands, hot spoon, sandal for just about anything that I did that bothered her. At school, I was often bullied, and when my father was home from work, she would pit him against me and hit him too. This was my reality until my father died right before high school. My mother was pressuring me to get into a top tier HS school she could afford. So I decided to go to a school far away from my upstate town. To accommodate, we moved in with my grandparents. Lo and behold, my grandmother was physically abusive, beat my mother up. On the day that happened, she (grandmother) called the police on us, and during my freshman year of high school, we moved two more times. To this day, she blames this all on me.Eventually, we landed in an apartment that was an abysmal living condition (after 3 years, this was all very traumatic). The building was filled with violent section 8 individuals, roaches plagued the apartment, and on multiple occasions, our apt had attempted break-ins since we were on the first floor. My mother also found a boyfriend, so I would sometimes not see her for more than an hour a day for weeks (since she was at his house). Since my father died, I was trobled emotionally and dealt with suicidal ideations. After my freshman year of HS, my grades plummeted, and I felt very terrible about myself since my parents only put value in my ability to get 100sThis set a bad precedent for my college career. I got accepted into a college I didn't want to attend. My mother forced me to go since she wanted to look impressive to her boyfriend (to show I got into a college to study computer science!). She also ignored my struggles in HS since she did not want her BF to think I was fallible. Just as I suspected, after three years of college and having poor success there, and dealing with an ex that sexually abused me, I withdrew and am now trying to follow an art career. I could not take it anymore.My close friends say my mother gaslights me. I'm starting to believe it. Although she stopped beating me, she is verbally abusive. If I'm walking with her on the street, she compares me to skinner girls that pass by and tells me I'll look better if I "thin up." But even when I was 25 pounds lighter, she would still say I was fat. She would bicker with me to invest in the stock market; once I finally get an account, she wants to micromanage my funds and still tries to find something wrong. If I bring up her beating the shit out of me as a kid, she says it never happened. In the car today, she tells me she is disappointed in me since I don't have the same success as my childhood friend who is getting his doctorate at Harvard. She tells me that I act like a child and immature for my age. She honestly seems just so disappointed in me, and I really cannot take it anymore. Literally, it seems nothing I do can satiate her version of me.And the worst part is after she is done bickering with me, she tries to hug me and say, "I love you, and I care for you," and act as if she didn't have a problem 5 min before.With that said, I'm an adult now who is transferring schools. I'm not sure what steps I should take. I personally want to remove myself from her. Yet I'm scared since she always says she is the only person that cares for me, and no one else will. What do you all think I should do.TLDR: I think my mother is abusive. Here I tell you what happened in my life. What steps should I take? via /r/relationship_advice https://ift.tt/3dK4Pcm
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