In the car, I told her about what I had done with my student refund check. She was squirming. She was wincing in panic.As a result, I sent her text messages with sources.Firstly, there will be no further student refund checks. In the future, they will go to my PayPal Reloadable Debit card's balance through direct deposit. I did a lot of research and asking around. Just as long as they're $7,500 or less, any payments that can be accepted via direct deposit are eligible to be deposited into my PayPal Reloadable MasterCard's balance.They really don't make it clear if only certain types of payments are eligible or not. Once, I tried to get a refund for something from someone in Germany using my card's bank details and the refund didn't complete. I guess that that was because they payment was international.Anyway, I had trouble cashing the check through the card's app and eventually, my Ingo Money account was suspended (Ingo Money provides the service that allows me to cash the check by photographing it through that app.). I called customer service and they told me that "the check won't be allowed because of all the different avenues in which I tried to cash it." I sent an email to Ingo Money customer support, too.Without any way to cash the check, I sent my check to NJ ABLE so that I could have a bank balance of over $2,000 while still keeping my benefits. Yesterday, Ingo Money customer support replied to my email. They told me to try to cash the check again during Ingo Money business hours. After receiving that response, I called NJ ABLE and I asked them if they could send the check back to me. They will send it back to me.Once I receive the check again, I will attempt to cash it and wait 10 days for no fee. If that will not work, then I will send the check back to NJ ABLE and I will use the money as a down payment for a car. That's because the money in that account has to be used for "disability qualifying expenses." It turned out that NJ ABLE didn't need any additional documentation from me. I could've waited until the next day and asked if additional documentation was needed, but what I was feeling the day I cashed the check was was pretty intense.Today, I spilled it to my mother and she started panicking. I told her about my ABLE account. She told me "IS IT LINKED WITH SOCIAL SECURITY?" I told her "Of course, it's linked! President Obama signed it into law in 2014!" I told her that I could've gone with a Massachusetts ABLE account, which has no fees, but that I went with New Jersey. She told me "It's LINKED WITH SOCIAL SECURITY EVEN IF YOU GO TO MASSACHUSETTS!" I told her "I know that it is!" She said "YOU CAN ONLY HAVE UP TO A CERTAIN AMOUNT, RIGHT?" I told her that "You can have up to $100,000 in the account before you lose access to Medicare." She said "YOU HAVE MEDICAID, THOUGH!" and "WHAT ABOUT SSDI?"I told her "I checked! It's FINE!" She told me "You checked with WHO?" As soon as I walked back into my apartment, I sent her facts with sources. I told her:"Money saved in an ABLE account will not affect an individual's eligibility for SSI (up to $100,000) and will allow the beneficiary to maintain eligibility for Medicaid and other public benefits." Source: https://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dds/hottopics/able/"Based on a change in the regulations effective March 9, 2005, the resource exclusion for automobiles changed. For resource determinations beginning April 2005, we exclude completely one automobile per household regardless of value if the recipient or couple or a member of the recipient's or couple's household uses it for transportation." Source: https://ift.tt/2FE4ZW7 then told me "SSDI?", so I sent her two text messages saying:"If you receive SSDI benefits, there is no limit on how much you can save." - Source: https://ift.tt/37fUlA5 source about the automobile limit refers to SSI. It does not apply to SSDI. Because I have both, though, I can own one automobile and no more.Driving is very important to me. Thursday one week ago, I woke up at 9 am and didn't have any classes. I had felt so panicked because I had nothing to do. I had felt a very sharp pain in my abdomen. I had felt that same pain the day before I had left for NJIT. It was scary, so I had decided to play a video game. I had played Star Wars: Episode I - Racer on my PC and I did all these quirky workarounds so that it would run well on my PC from 2020. I had played that game a lot after I had been kicked out of school at the age of 9.Fiction just doesn't work for me and it never has. I like the real world. Fiction frightens me and it always has. Shortly before I had been kicked out of school, all these kids with their video games and their cartoons were driving me crazy. The same with any other commercial nonsense that those kids had had. Maybe, I had misinterpreted it, but at the time, there was attempted legislation to make all cartoon shows "educational," whatever that means. In an attempt to cope, I had talked about how all cartoons should be educational. I had gotten "HE THINKS EVERY CARTOON SHOULD BE EDUCATIONAL!" from a child. Those children were FREAKIN' me out. I've always been quote, unquote "self-aware." Children are just nuts, man.When I was eight or nine, my parents had taken me to FAO Schwarz to get my brother and me a Chanukah present. I couldn't select anything. My brother could easily select something. I had to muster up a lie so that I could leave there with something. It was all garbage. Also, Halloween is the worst day of the year. It's awful. My mother had me dress up as the Red Ranger when I was five and I guess, when I was six, dressing up as the Red Ranger again was a consequence of "You did it last year, so this year, it'll work again." Funny that I got made fun of for "liking the Power Rangers" when just like every other show, I was terrified of that show.When I was seven, my mother decided to get me a costume on October 30th. We saw someone from town in the parking lot and she told us "You're getting COSTUMES THE DAY BEFORE HALLOWEEN?" I couldn't select anything and my mother was so angry. I had ended up selecting the most neutral thing that I could find, a hockey uniform. The next day, my mother left home from work early and on school grounds, she tried to pester me to go home and put the costume on. I kept refusing. My parents were so angry later that day.When I tell my mother about things like this, she takes it as an attack against her. I'm not angry at her, though. I'm frustrated talking about what I went through, but I'm not angry. She tells me "You keep REPROACHING ME about the past! You don't think I was under PRESSURE to conform? I was an IMMIGRANT from FRANCE!" Fiction is a menace and on Halloween three years ago, I took a bus from New York City to Philadelphia and back. I was living on a college campus. It was the best thing that I could've done.Driving works so well for me. Last night, I played Star Wars Trilogy Arcade and a few nights ago, I played Watergate - The Video Game to completion. Watergate - The Video Game is a Flash game that's available in Bluemaxima's Flashpoint, which is a project to archive games using web technologies.Fiction doesn't work for me, but video games can sure keep me occupied. Driving can, too. Driving works for me. In 2011, I was trying to do things away from my family's ridiculous confines, so I did things with social groups based around fiction. I was so freaked out that I had wrecked my car. I "made friends" based around fiction. Eventually, they all ignored me. I don't care that they ignored me. That's not the problem. The problem was that all this even existed to begin with.People had the nerve to tell me that I couldn't handle New York Comic Con because "it was how I was raised." Dude, can you imagine New York Comic Con for someone who's terrified of fiction?I needed something away from that house and so, I did these things with the fiction groups. It was obscene. Once I got to NJIT, there was no need for all that anymore. I was PISSED. Somehow, the people in those groups were obsessing over the exact same things that the people at the special needs school that I had to attend after I was kicked out of school were obsessing over.I was kicked out of school because of my reactions. At that school, they were almost all "loyal to Nintendo." Because of how that school was run, I was forced to comply. After I moved into this apartment, I got a mailing from that school because it wants me to give them money.Cartoons left me feeling traumatized, disturbed, and terrified. My generation is all about cartoons. I need to drive and should I find myself able to load the check onto my reloadable card's balance, then the down payment for a car will wait. If I save all the money that my mother gives me as my representative payee, then I'd be able to afford a visa application to Australia in less than a year. That's my target country.I don't want a car to be social. To me, that's stupid. I'm not a social person. I want it to quell the madness that's in my head. via /r/raisedbynarcissists https://ift.tt/2HeEQh2
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