I never believed ADHD was real, my story

Hi, I have as of the last couple days diagnosed myself with ADHD. I scheduled and appointment with the doc to try and figured this thing out. I hope this may help someone else out there.I, like many reading this, always done good enough in school to prevent the assumption that I have may have ADHD. For most of my life I figured kids my age who said they have ADHD just did not have the discipline that I thought I had. After all I was normal (I thought). I was great at all things athletic (adulthood has changed that but I’m still physically fit), had bright ideas, and eloquent solutions to problems because I didn’t have a box to think from. However, I could never pay attention as a child. There were other signs as a child but being 30 now it’s now difficult for me to think back and see absolutely clear signs that I had ADHD, no less so because I did not spend much time around around my parents since they were often deployed, so they couldn’t help. Moving forward I ended up joining the Marine Corps and doing very well in the infantry. However on at least two separate deployments (and in many other various circumstances) I found myself taking on extremely high level of risks while under enemy fire (not pop shot type stuff, but legitimate heavy, accurate fire and mortars) . It’s like I just had to, as in no other option but to do those impulsive actions. Still my impulsiveness shines through and I’m often introduced as someone that has no filter, I am described as a dick, at least until you get to know me. Fast forward to a few days ago and I started asking close friends and my significant other if they think like I do. All said they have never met anyone that think like I do.So how do I think. The most prominent thing is that I constantly have a none stop flow of many thoughts. Thoughts that I have to have. There is no turning them off... ever. To me it is like when you describe a dream of punching someone but there is no power behind those punches, the solution is to just punch harder. But you can’t, it’s just a dream. I can’t just turn off or even down my thoughts. I also liken it to the scene from Averagers were Doctor Strange views all permutations of a scenario. I too have to think of every outcome in a circumstance. I don’t have a choice.Then there is the constant paying attention to everything. The green colored car in the distance, the leaves rustling in the branches, the smell of the air, the feel of my jeans, the sound the letters In the words that you are speaking. And more. Not to mention the constant unrelated thoughts in my brain. Everything gets all the attention. It is overwhelming.There are other things though like the fact that I cannot, for the life of me remember very important days. The events during any day to include those in the past, sure I can remember those in very high resolution (as well as most other things). Dates and times though completely blend together. They are almost like false memories. I know I did them but when? There is also the extreme forgetfulness. It’s not as easy as retracing your steps, there are no steps. Those keys have to be somewhere, after all I just got home to unlock the door five minutes ago. There are zero steps.Then there is need to know the why to everything. Like why do newspapers all have similar names. The Charlotteville Bee, The National times, The Summerville Post. I need to know why these similar names exist. Why did a person behave this way. It’s always the why of the most strange things that gets my hyper-focused.I also have an extreme problem staying occupied at a job. I have quit many good jobs because it was not shiny and new anymore. The job I have now works okay for me because I work on everything from mechanical equipment such as cars and tractors to building walls for buildings, and much more. If I just turned anyone of those particular tasks into an actual job I have no doubt I would quite in a couple of months.Again I know I’m not a smooth brain due to my ability to solve problems on things I have never encountered. But it’s all overwhelming to have a constant stream of thoughts and stimuli overloading my brain at all times. I’m not the excuse type or the sensitive type but adhd is real. via /r/ADHD https://ift.tt/2Hno2of