I need some help. I don't know if I have an eating disorder and I don't know where else to ask

Hi, I have kind of a weird relationship with food and I'm not really sure if it's disordered eating or what.This ended up being way longer than I expected, TLDR at the end.I don't like thinking about food. When I was a kid I had a very hard time with restaurants, I could never pick what I wanted to eat. It got bad enough that I would bring dice to restaurants or ask family to pick for me. A lot of the time, thinking about what I want to eat makes me feel almost sick to my stomach. I rarely eat breakfast because it makes me nauseous and after I moved away from home I found myself missing meals because I'd forget or I just wasn't interested in eating. Last year I became really worried about my eating habits, I wouldn't eat breakfast, I'd often skip lunch and then eat one of a handful of meals for dinner. I really liked the feeling of fasting, of being empty. When I moved home (thanks covid) and I wasn't cooking my own meals anymore, I totally stopped thinking about food. I didn't eat breakfast, I'd maybe have a pb&j for lunch, and then I'd eat whatever my parents made for dinner, at least one serving so I wouldn't worry them even if I really didn't want to. Whenever they would ask for help planning meals I couldn't think of anything. I had no answer to "what do you want for dinner". I didn't want anything. I didn't w/ant to eat, I didn't want to think about it.I don't think it's body image related. When I was a kid I struggled with body image and I still don't find myself attractive, but I'm not overweight or underweight. I do struggle with self harm and suicidality and sometimes don't want to eat because I don't feel I deserve it, but that's pretty rare and the prospect of eating makes me nauseous even when I'm not thinking about not eating as some kind of punishment.TL;DR I like good food, and I enjoy eating food sometimes, but I often find the thought of food nauseating and skip meals. I find eating a chore, and would really rather not have to deal with it. I sometimes feel that I don't deserve food, but this is not common. Is this behaviour indicative of an eating disorder or just weird biology that I'm overthinking?Sorry this was so long, thank you if you read it. Any feedback or opinions is very welcome. via /r/eatingdisorder https://ift.tt/3iPV1hG