Wednesday, October 21, 2020

I don't feel this is appropriate, but need another opinion


My wife (40f), kids and I (42m) Iive in the same city as her parents. She sees her parents (65f and 80m) every day (they work together). We also have 2 dogs (I promise this is relevant) that are a horrendous pain. One has glaucoma and only has one eye left and it's been difficult keeping this one eye safe for now, and the other is a giant 100lb asshole. He listens well, but attacks other dogs and is a shit head on a leash.My parents (70s) live about 250 miles away and both are retired. They don't see us often lately due to covid (my dad is high risk).My in laws are pretty involved in our lives. Before covid, they'd have the kids every day after school, etc, whereas my parents only visited when able. My wife holds a huge grudge with my mom (legit reasons that I caused, but not relevant here) and it's always super tense when they're in town. Wife always finds reasons to go to work, or the store or just not be around. Whatever, I guess. My parents also feel left out of things. They want to be here more, but up until recently it's been hard with work schedules. Now that they're retired, it's covid.My wife has been pushing for a big vacation, like every year, regardless of covid or not. I've been shooting her down because pandemic, so she goes to her mom. Her mom agrees to the vacation... Great. And then she starts asking me to ask my parents if they can watch the dogs.If course my answer is no, I'm not even going to ask. When they come here, it's to visit us, not so we can offload our crap onto them. I say at the very least, we would drive the dogs to them, but honestly, it makes no sense. My parents have no yard, a bird and it would be impossible.My wife says it's not fair, her mom is always used when we need her to watch the dogs etc, but they have a big yard, already have 2 dogs, and live close by. I don't think it's fair to have my parents drive here to watch our dogs. I told my wife I'll just pay for the dog sitter. If course it's a big concern because of the big ass and the glaucoma meds.I even got scolded because her dad was just here picking up something and I didn't help. Because I was still working, I was on thr phone. Of course, I get criticised for that too.This is not the first time she's asked this, but I'm pretty adamant that I'm right and don't think it's appropriate. If they lived nearby, then fuck yes, I would ask.What is your take and how should this be addressed? Should I change my perspective? Or can I help change hers? via /r/relationship_advice https://ift.tt/31x9olh

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