God I don't even know where to start with this. I was going to start by saying that my sister and I (I'll call her L) used to have a good relationship when we were kids, but I don't even know if THAT'S true. I'm sorry if this all sounds jumbled and rambly, I'm happy to answer any questions.Ever since I can remember I've felt a little scared of her/been uncomfortable with the way she treats me.We were typical siblings when I was a toddler/younger child as far as I remember. We had typical sibling spats (i.e. yelling, blaming each other for stupid stuff, etc). We grew out of the petty stuff, but the yelling never stopped. Maybe I'm biased but it always feels like I'm the one being yelled at for no reason.L didn't make an effort to have a good relationship with me in my middle school and early high school years. Our relationship was fine, we obviously lived together, went to the same high school for a year. She never made an effort to talk to me about anything going on in her life, or ask me about anything, so we weren't really close in my opinion.We would often get into fights that, from my point of view, came from no where. She was mad that I wasn't giving her gas money because she drove me to school during the year that we went to high school together (I was 14), she was mad that I didn't change the toilet paper roll in our shared bathroom, she was mad that she got in trouble for teasing me and I wouldn't say I knew it was a joke.Throughout the years, I would try to bring this up with L. I would tell her that I didn't like the way she treated me, that I didn't like when we fought. Every time I would bring it up she would say I had never brought it up with her before. Her excuses are always the same: that's just how siblings are, at least we aren't as bad as THESE siblings, she was going through a hard time, etc, etc, etc. These conversations would always end up being these huge blow out fights where I would end up apologizing.She went to college my sophomore year of high school (I graduated last year) and I thought our relationship would improve with space, and for awhile it did. But when she came back that summer, all the sudden she gave a shit. Cue arguing, a fight, parents involved, I grit my teeth and go along with it.It's been three years now and I keep convincing myself that L is right, that this is what sibling relationships are like, but I don't know anymore. I dread her coming home to visit, I don't like spending time with her, I make any excuse not to visit her in college. I used to have panic attacks in high school if I could hear her in the bathroom.We have good days. Where I think we're fine and I'm overreacting. But then we have bad days.She guilt trips me for everything (not spending enough time with her, being in my room too often). She acts like a child (gossips like she's still in high school, complains about the stupidest shit). She teases me/makes fun of me and when I get quiet and mom steps in she pulls the "Mom he knows I'm joking, you know I'm joking right?" and I just shrug. She ignores my boundaries.It feels like she CONSTANTLY brings up fights we had as kids where I was in the wrong. I was 5-7 in most of these stories. I was a child. She brings them up in front of friends, family, anyone. It feels like she can turn a whole room against me. She can get my friends to make fun of me without them even realizing it.I don't know. I don't want to make this post longer but there's more that she's done. I'm exhausted. I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like I'm overreacting and I'm too sensitive. I've told friends in the past that I feel like L is abusive and they haven't believed me.I don't know what to do. Is it too late to salvage this? Am I being dramatic? Is this typical of siblings? I feel like she has some undiagnosed mental illnesses so I try to cut her some slack but I'm at a loss. via /r/relationship_advice https://ift.tt/2T37lRm
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