How do I talk about this?

I've recently started realizing my dad is verbally abusive and I want to talk about it with my therapist.For as long as i remember my dad has had anger issues, before i was born he apparently went to anger management, I guess it didn't stick. I remember a number if times as a child him getting very mad and yelling at me and my brother. One time when we were in a store we had those carts that they make for kids to push around and I guess we kept hitting his ankles bc he said if we did that again he was going to throw it across the store. Another time when I was around 12 my brother said something about not liking supper and he called both of us ungrateful. Theres just time after time in my memory where he gets very mad at us for objectively small things and yelled at us, he even spanked me once bc I accidentally tripped over a hot dog roasting stick he was holding. Most if his outbursts can usually be attributed to stress unrelated to anything me or my brother did, but I know that doesn't excuse it. Also know if I tried to talk this kind of stuff out with him he would still see it mostly from his perspective, we were doing something wrong and the way he acted was justified.When the pandemic first hit I was in an awful place mentally and called a number for help and a mental health assesment. We went over a lot of stuff and one was what my parents were like and when I told her about my dad she said whether he meant to hurt us or not he was verbally abusive. Recently as I have talked to other people I've had the same affirmation, what my dad does is not okay and is abusive. Its helpful getting that outside validation bc my brain goes "it's not that bad, c'mon" because I feel like a good deal of the time hes normal, but then there can be long period or just random moments he gets mad and yells at us or says something hurtful. At this point I'm just numb to it, I go quiet and wait for it to pass. I dont want to hug him or say I love him bc theres all this shit hes done and said that makes me want to keep my distance, I cant say I love him.When I was younger I thought I was weird for not being a "daddy's girl" but now that I'm older I know that's bc he made it so I didnt want to be near him. The very idea that there are people out there who have loving relationships and inside jokes and stuff with their dads is a totally forgien idea to me.I guess this turned into a rant instead of asking for advice, but I just really needed to get this off my chest and if anyone has any advice for bringing this up to my therapist that would be great, thank you if you read all this. via /r/abuse https://ift.tt/3nKGLKY