Sorry the info is kind of vague. I live in a tiny town and work at a tiny college, so it’d be pretty easy to find me if I gave much more info. Not that y’all would but, ya know, SSDGM. Also, all of the retirement stuff is mine because my husband’s retirement account where we both work just opened and he won’t start contributing until next month. Also, please go easy on me! This is my first one so I'm sure it's not great!**Please know that we are always wearing masks anytime we are around people who don’t live in our house with us. I just felt really redundant and this diary is already chockfull of redundancies.**Section 1: Assets and DebtsRetirement: $8041.36. This is a combination of my 403b and OK Teacher’s Retirement fund. Backstory: we lived in Austin, TX for a long time before getting the option to move back to my childhood home where I would get the opportunity to be a SAHM for a little while. We loved Austin but we were so far away from family and, even though it was risky and we’d never make a lot of money in our hometown, the sacrifice was worth it to us to have our son closer to family. We closed out my existing 401k so that we could move home and start repairs on our new (to us) house. Did it set us back? Absolutely. Do I regret it? Not a bit. I got the chance to be a SAHM for several years until my son was in school and I found a job that I absolutely love. I’ve never been happier even though we make significantly less money than we did in Austin.Equity: I’m not sure about this but I would say around $50,000. We own the house we live in, but it was gifted to us because it was going to otherwise sit empty and we needed to do a LOT of repairs. So far, we’ve spent close to $50,000 on repairs and upgrades since we moved back in 2014. Eventually we will take out a mortgage to pay my mom and to do some more major upgrades.Savings account: $3325.94 in a HYSA (lol high yield). See above for reasons our savings/retirement sucks. We are starting to build this up now.Checking account: $7089.44. This is higher than normal because it’s right after payday and I haven’t moved any money around yet.Credit Card Debt: $2113.91. This is for a new lawn mower we had to buy (we have about 10 acres we have to maintain between our house and my mom and grandma’s house – yes, it’s like a tiny compound) this year. It’s on a 0 interest CC for the next 2 years so we don’t mind the balance and we overpay the amount due each month. All other CC we pay off in full each month.Student Loan Debt: $35,907.10. Yikes. This is for my undergrad and part of my grad school. We paid off my husband’s student loans 2 years ago, and I am working on getting PSLF. Hopefully that’s still a thing in a few years.Section 2: Income**I’m not doing income progression because most of my jobs do not relate to one another, so I don’t have a traditional career or income path.Monthly Take Home (me): $2592.68/monthMonthly Take Home (husband): $2624.68/monthWe combine finances and share a joint checking and savings accounts. We combined our finances out of convenience right after we got married almost 10 years ago. It’s worked well so far.Expenses:Mortgage: $0 (see above). We know how incredibly lucky we are and we do spend a lot on remodeling our home and helping my mom take care of her and my grandma’s home that they started sharing after both of their husbands (my step dad and grandpa) passed away 6 months apart from each other 13 years ago. Although we have a “free” house, we do a lot to make up for it. I think we do anyways. We could just be selfish freeloaders *Shrugs* dang millennials.Insurance: $300/year for homeProperty Taxes: approx. $300/yearSavings contribution: Nothing set in stone right now. I usually take whatever we have in excess of $1500 at the end of each month. Last month it was $850.Debt Payments:CC for lawn mower: $150Student Loans: $150 (or more if I get a wild hair) but currently on pauseDonations: We don’t have a set amount we donate each month but last year we donated about $2000 (I know, I know, it should be more) to a combination of organizations: ACLU, BLM, ASPCA, a few local charities, friend’s fundraisers, and political campaigns. I also volunteer for our local literacy program during non-Covid times and phone bank for political campaigns whenever I can.Electric: $170Other Utilities: ~$50Wi-Fi/Satellite: $170 (yes, it’s expensive and yes, it’s horrible but it is a necessary evil due to work and school. This is why we need better options in rural areas)Cell phone - $150 for me and my mom and a grandfathered data plan that they will pry from my cold. Dead. Hands.Subscriptions:Netflix: I mooch off my brotherDisney +: $7/monthHulu: $6/monthDigit: $5Dollar Shave Club: $10 every 8 weeksAudible: $22.90/month for me and my husbandNYT: $6/month and shared with familyAmazon: $59/year (hey, hey student discount!)Noom: $140/yearPet expenses: ~$100/month. We have three dogs (Sirius, Sansa, and Khaleesi) and a cat (Aaron Purr, Sir). I don’t talk about them in the diary because I knew I would spend the whole time just talking about them and never get to the money stuff.Transportation: $300/month for car payment; $79/month for insurance for both of our cars; ~$200/month for gasWas there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher ed? If yes, how did you pay for it?I wouldn't say there was an expectation but it was definitely highly encouraged for us to go to college or a vocational school. I went for a year after high school, dropped out, and then went back and finished 3 years later. Now I'm working on my Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I paid for my undergrad through grants for the first year and then lost them all when I dropped out so I paid for the majority of the rest of it with loans. Wish I would have never done that.Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?Money was always a topic of conversation in our house because my parents were self-employed musicians who had 6 kids between the two of them (my dad was actually my step-dad, my bio dad was a jerk) and money was always tight. I will say that I learned a lot about budgeting and not living above my means. That part has taken a bit of a hit lately because, after 4 years of being a SAHM, that double income really went to my head. I'm finally leveling back down and getting extra serious about our goals. My parents taught me about how life was about more than money but they also taught me practical stuff too, like how to do your taxes. Sounds like pretty wild musicians, right?What was your first job and why did you get it?My first job ever was at Kentucky Fried Chicken for 2 weeks when I was 16. It taught me two things: I never, ever want to work fast food again and to have respect for those that do because it is much harder than it looks! I consider my next job at a call center as my "real" first job and I got it because I wanted a car and a cell phone and spending money. My parents only provided the necessitiesDid you worry about money growing up?Yes and no. Yes because I knew how much my parents struggled even though they tried not to show it and yes because I knew my biological father had a LOT of money (that he eventually lost and died almost penniless) and refused to pay child support or anything to help me and my 2 siblings out. But also no because my parents, as hard as it was, didn't ever have the mentality that being broke is necessarily terrible. When I talk to my friends about our childhoods, I find that we all had family issues regardless of where we all fell on the socio-economic spectrum.Do you worry about money now?Oh, for sure. I know we're behind but I try not to let it cloud my every thought. We've reached difficult goals before and I know we'll do it again!At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?I would say it started at 16 and I became fully financially responsible for myself at 18. I don't know if we have a financial safety net but we have a great support group and community around us that I know would do everything they could to help out if something terrible were to happen.Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?lol no. Unless you count the old steamer trunk we inherited from a grandma.Friday 10/025 am: Husband (J) and I wake up to the news about Donald Trump testing positive for the coronavirus. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry considering the precariousness of our country right now. Get up and drink coffee that J has made while reading the news and listening to my book (The Bookwoman of Troublesome Creek, good so far). Eventually send J off to work and get started on my own work. Explanation: I work from home on Fridays because my son’s (D) school only goes 4 days a week. My job really requires me to be in the office but, J is in a relatively new position at the same university and he is still learning the ropes. Luckily my boss is an incredible lady and understands the sacrifices we’re all having to make. I absolutely love my job and the people I work with.8 am: Eat breakfast (boring oatmeal, sorry folks) and check e-mails until D gets out of bed and I fix him breakfast (cereal, also boring). At some point J gets gas and a drink ($24.63) and texts me the news that Joe Biden has tested negative. Fingers crossed it stays that way!12 pm: take a break to eat some lunch (grilled chicken salad that I prepped the night before. I promise my food choices aren’t always so boring) with D, visit with my mom who lives next door (veeery social distanced chat. She has rheumatoid arthritis and takes meds that make her immunocompromised, so we work hard to keep her safe. She’s my favorite person in the world), and wash dishes while continuing my book. I’m not going to lie, yesterday was super slow in the office and I spent a good hour reading about the blue people of Kentucky. Does anyone else in Higher Ed find that they have weeks where they feel like the work is nonstop and you’re constantly putting out fires and other weeks where you can’t even find the tiniest thing to keep you busy? As someone who has always had jobs where you didn’t get a chance to breathe, the past 2 years in this environment has REALLLLY taken a lot to get used to. This week I’ve done mayyyybe 25 hours of actual work where last week I was working well into the early morning hours almost every night. It’s weird.3 pm: Take a little break to get out of the house a bit and run to the corner store to pick up some snacks for D ($11.49).3:30: Remember I said today was slow? Just kidding! Suddenly get slammed with work and then find out Donald Trump is going to Walter Reed…this is turning into a weird Friday.6 pm: J gets home from work and tells me he spent $4.50 on a drink and a song on iTunes. We then have a quick hamburger cookout and eat outside with my mom. The rest of the night is pretty boring: clean up, kiddo to bed, tv on the couch, skin care, then fall asleep listening to a show about murders. Nice.10/03 Saturday5:30 AM: Even though it’s the weekend my body decides it’s time to wake-up. Make coffee and check the news before heading for a breakfast run to a little shop near our house ($15.69). Spend a lazy morning finishing up my book (so good!) and catching up on a few My Favorite Murder episodes before heading out for a big grocery shopping trip.1 PM: Since March, we try to limit our trips to the grocery store to once a month and do about 2 or 3 grocery pickups to get little things we need. This ends up being a huge shopping trip because we were out of a lot of household items and also because we picked up a Halloween costume and some lounge clothes for D (kids grow so fast!). I won’t list everything because I have 5 more days, but we spend $413.61 on items like toilet paper, laundry detergent, ground pork, ground beef, lots of veggies, Oreo Thins, shampoo, conditioner, etc. We were out of EVERYTHING. We aren’t doing trick or treating this year but D loves dressing up, so we decided to go ahead and still get a costume which accounts for about $40 of that bill. Because it’s grocery day and I can’t be bothered, we stop and get lunch/dinner (amiright?) at a local sushi restaurant ($30.85).5 PM: I help my mom balance my grandma’s checkbook. She’s about $20 off from the register compared to the statement but we quickly spot the error. Spend the rest of the evening doing a bit of laundry, watching Halloween Wars with the fam, doing a quick workout on Youtube and watching The Shining and The Exorcist (don’t worry, D was in bed) before calling it a night around 12:30.10/04 Sunday6 AM: Normal thing: wake up, coffee, breakfast (overnight oats), news. I also use the time before everyone else is awake to do hair mask and take a shower and then start meal prepping for the week (stuffed cabbage rolls and tabbouleh).9:30 AM: Realize I don’t have enough jars to make my overnight oats for the week (I’m notorious for dropping and breaking dishes CONSTANTLY) so run to the Dollar Store. I don’t find jars but, mysteriously, I find a throw pillow, rug, and weighted blanket ($81.35). I don’t feel too terrible because we just redid our entire bedroom (new floors, new furniture, paint, etc) and we need a few little pieces to tie some things together. These are all neutral pieces we’ve been looking for and, honestly, almost half the price of the stuff I’ve found online. Yes, strangers, I’m justifying my spending not just to you but to me too. Also stop and fill up on gas for the week and wash my car ($27.25)2:30 PM: Finally finished meal prepping (also made some eggroll bowls) and start a new book (When We Left Cuba) before I start working on an old steamer trunk of J’s late grandma’s that we are refinishing. My brother brings out a brisket he has been smoking all weekend and helps me do some stuff to the trunk and trying to be helpful but I’m the baby so I just get frustrated because I want to do things my way (even though he’s done this before and does kind of know what he’s talking about. Ugh big brothers). Eventually head inside to start clean the house while J works in the yard (this isn’t a gender norms thing – we actually split up house and yard chores pretty equally but it just happened to work out this way this time).8:00 PM: I lay down to watch Bailey Sarian vids (I promise I’m not obsessed with murders, they’re usually more spread out than this but I recently took a break from YouTube and podcasts for about a month so I’m just playing catch-up) under the new weighted blanket while J plays video games with D. HOLY COW! HOW HAVE I NOT HAD A WEIGHTED BLANKET MY WHOLE LIFE?!?! I was really skeptical because I’m super claustrophobic (like, I will NOT take elevators. At all. And parking garages? Forget about it. You better have street or lot parking or ya girl’s not gonna be there) but THIS. IS. LIFE. CHANGING. I completely pass out, so J takes care of all the bedtime stuff for D.10/5 Monday5:30 AM: Ugh, Monday. J starts the coffee while I fix mine and D’s lunches for the day. Do all the necessary ‘get ready for work and school’ while J wakes up D and makes sure he gets dressed. J breaks his glasses while cleaning them (why tf is he cleaning his glasses so aggressively?!) so I make a mental note to check out if his prescription is still good or if we need to schedule an appointment. Head to work while J takes D to school.8:30 AM: get a call at work from a collections agency (what?) and pay a hospital bill from 2017 (long story short: our little town hospital got bought out a few years ago by a big hospital and their billing system is insane. I once got a bill for the same visit with the same items on it 3 times in 2 weeks with 3 different amounts) I go ahead and pay it ($25.66) and make a note to check with the hospital billers when I go get my pap on Friday to see what the heck is happening. Also see that Digit has taken out their monthly fee (listed above). Text with my friend because today is her birthday! I always thought I was a homebody but, since we are trying to keep our bubble small, it just now occurs to me how much I miss her. She’s my closest friend (physically, all of my other besties are spread around the country) and we haven’t seen each other since January. I suggest that we set up our projector and have her and her husband over some time soon for a (very socially distanced) outdoor movie night.4: Off work! In the times of Covid, I forego a lunch hour (hence all the meal prep which I should probably be doing all the time anyway) so that I can leave early enough to pick my son up from school so he doesn’t have to ride on the bus. Normally he’d ride the bus to my mom’s house (we all live about 3 miles from the school) and wait for me to get home after 5 but, like I said, we’re trying to be as safe as we possibly can. Make dinner (aforementioned prepped eggroll bowls) and eat as a family. D has ADHD and sensory processing disorder so we struggle to find things we can all eat as a family. He hates the eggroll bowls, but I am proud of him for trying them. I’m trying really hard to follow his pediatrician’s advice to let him eat what he wants (within reason of course) but my mom brain constantly worries. Luckily, he’s very healthy and is growing at a normal rate so I know it’s mainly just pressure I put on myself. Sigh, momming is hard.6:30 PM: head out for another trip to the Dollar Store (I promise we don’t go out this much normally but, since we do most of the shopping for my mom and grandma, we go more than I’d like even during a normal week) to pick up some stuff for my mom and some cute and cheap Halloween décor for us ($67). Is it just me or is anyone else just not even into the whole idea of holidays this year? If it wasn’t for D I probably wouldn’t even bother with it honestly.8:30 PM: J and D play together while I work out and then catch up on the NYT crosswords from this week that I’ve been sporadically working on. Get D ready for bed and then accidentally fall asleep early (thanks, blanket) and leave J to clean up dinner dishes. Oops. Sorry not sorry.10/6 Tuesday3:15 AM: NOPE.5:15 AM: Still nope. I’ve gotta be more careful about what time I get under the magic blanket.5:45 AM: Finally up and start the morning routine of coffee, getting dressed, getting D ready, getting work and school stuff ready, packing lunches and heading out the door. J and I make it a point to try to get up as early as possible so we can spend a few calm moments together before the rush of the day but we didn’t get to this morning because I slept later than normal and now my day feels off.8 AM: At work and I can already tell it’s going to be a crazy day. I’m feeling a weird impending sense of doom (really shouldn’t miss those meditative morning coffees with the hubs) so I put on Michelle Obama’s podcast for something positive. I wish Michelle Obama could be my mom. Or aunt. I love both my real mom and aunt but I think Michelle would be a really welcome addition to our group. Spend the rest of the day pep talking students, faculty and staff alike. I know times are really hard in academia and education in general so check on those folks who are in the middle of it. A lot of my job is just being an ear for people to vent to and it occurred to me today that I spend most of my time asking everyone around me if they’re okay but I can count on one hand the amount of times someone has checked on me since March. I’m a one-woman office so I understand that I’m easy to forget in people’s rounds. Plus I laugh a lot, so I think people just probably assume I’m doing awesome. But I absolutely love what I do and I love everyone I work with and for and will get my check-ins from friends and family. Sorry, I swear I’m not trying to have a pity party. It just hit me weird today.4 PM: Best time of the day, getting to see D. Then suddenly remembering it’s Parent-Teacher conference night and our appointment is in 2 hours. What is HAPPENING, Tuesday?!6: P/T conference. No one was wearing masks and his teacher spent 7 minutes (yes, 7) talking about how the coronavirus is just like the flu and it’s hilarious that all the people who thought schools would close 2 weeks in are really kicking themselves now. Y’all. I asked if they were using the disposable masks I bought them and she says no (direct quote from teacher: “They just can’t wear masks all day. D does great though! He never takes his off!” yes I know he doesn’t take it off. We listen to scientists, lady). Also find out that they’ve decided to close school tomorrow because the high school softball and baseball teams are going to the State Tournament. Please forgive the following tirade but I feel like you all will understand: Oklahoma is routinely at the bottom in terms of education, health, literacy, etc. We are in a school district that only goes to school 4 days a week and we just passed our first bond in 23 years! I’m very happy for the teams and proud that their hard work is getting them to state but I also know that OK is in an education and health crisis right now. Sorry. I have a lot more to say but I want to try to put as much positivity in the world as I can so I should just stop now. We’ve tried to change school districts but everyone is full and he is on an IEP so that makes it more difficult. We supplement at home with educational trips, shows, games, etc. I hope we’re doing right by D. We decide to skip the dinner we had planned (breakfast for supper) and have McDonald’s instead. D is doing really excellent in school despite the fears of the inevitable slide that we all knew most kids would face due to the long break and also because my head hurts and I just can’t ($17). Head home and spend the evening cussing and discussing the education system (btw – Teachers, you all are awesome. I can’t even believe the things you’re having to do now and I will not let one person’s attitude about the seriousness of our situation deter my support and awe for teachers and all those in the world of education. Thank you sincerely for caring about our children like you do and thank you for the continuous sacrifices you make so that you can send the young people out into the world better equipped than we ever could) and eating terrible food.9: D finally in bed so, after a quick workout, J and I snuggle on the couch listening to our books (with headphones. We don’t just loudly play different books over the other one’s) and head to bed around 12:30.10/7 Wednesday5:00 AM: Awake! I’m determined to make this a better day, so I start with a 15 minute workout on Youtube and then enjoy coffeetime with J. We talk about yesterday and we have decided to use the surprise day off as a way for D and I to spend some quality time together. Send an e-mail to my boss about needing the day off tomorrow to which she immediately responds and gives me a really nice compliment about all of the work I’ve been doing easing fears from the students, faculty, and staff (huh, there’s that check-in I needed. She’s the best). Do our regular morning stuff and get out the door a little bit early. I take the few extra minutes to pop in the corner store and pick up some donuts for some coworkers and a few drinks to stock my work fridge (9.57).8:00 AM: work is crazy again but finally slows down about an hour before I leave. Spend the last hour chatting with my 3 favorite coworkers and closing up my office for the weekend before heading out to pick up D.5 PM: get home to find my brother visiting my mom! We chat a little bit about Johnny Nash, Eddie Van Halen and the new guitar he’s bought (Fender Telecaster for those interested) before J gets home to join the impromptu party. Head home to make dinner (finally getting that breakfast for supper D has been waiting on) and I can hear my brother and husband outside playing with their guitars. I love that J has been so easily welcomed into the family. We’ve been together for almost 12 years (married almost 10) and his parents weren’t great to him. Nothing terrible, they just kind of neglected him for his older sister. He fits perfectly into my weird crew. I can’t be for certain but I’m pretty sure they like him more than me sometimes. J also stopped to pick up drinks for his work fridge and for D’s lunchbox since we forgot them during our big grocery haul (19.67).7:30 PM: I just thought I was finished with work. Spend the next few hours putting out fires and watching the VP debate. We let D watch more of this one than the last one, but he passes out pretty quickly. The fly in Pence’s hair is hilarious and weirdly ominous and Kamala’s mom looks she gives him for interrupting her continuously are gold. Finally head to bed about 1 with a stress headache and watch some ASMR to wind down.10/08 Thursday7 AM: I SLEPT IN!! Woohoo!!! This NEVER happens!! I give thanks to my new lord and savior, the weighted blanket, and head into the living room to have a cup of coffee with the hubs and see him off to work.1 PM: I’ve spent most of my day off working. Yep. I did get to fix D his favorite breakfast of all time: scrambled eggs. This kid. And he showed me some videos on Youtube that he’d been watching. It was mainly people playing Minecraft and Undertale and screaming a lot. Nice. Break for lunch and to listen to my mom (Michelle Obama) talk about mentoring and raising kids. Also play Life with D and try to get him to snuggle with me and watch a movie but he refuses so we spend a while outside enjoying the gorgeous weather. Also work on this diary a bit since I just realized I have to post tomorrow. Now panicking about my spending. Now remembering that we’re all internet strangers and how this is a really supportive community, so I just need to relax a bit.5:30 PM: J is home! We rejoice and he sends me a screenshot of his spending for the week. He couldn’t remember what exactly everything was for (just guessing I’d say: lunch for a few days, Dr. Peppers, and music related stuff) but I love that he tried ($52). We make dinner together (egg rolls from the left over egg roll bowls) and D and J play music and video games while I do a work out (btw was it on here or R29 that someone did Walking at Home with Leslie? Either way- thank you! This program is so much fun!). Get D in bed around 8:30.9:30 PM: Showered and in bed to finish this money diary while listening to Bailey Sarian until I can no longer resist the siren’s call of the weighted blanket. G’night, folks!Total: $800.27Reflect on your diary: Other than the crazy grocery trip (which would normally be at least $100 less if not more), this was a relatively normal week in terms of spending. It did make me realize how I need to probably slow down on the like small daily spending like dropping into the corner store and I should try harder to get my husband to bring his lunch each day instead of eating out so much. I know that we aren’t as financially secure as other people on this sub but I think that’s okay. We’re working on our goals and I have to make peace with that and be happy with what we have. I appreciate any constructive criticism or comments!**Update** remember that weird $25 hospital bill? Turns out it was part of a bill that was already paid in full and should never have been turned over to collections. Yay! Now I’ve gotta try and get that $25 back…wish me luck! via /r/MoneyDiariesACTIVE https://ift.tt/3dczChJ
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