22F, father is having his fifth child with his third wife...finding it hard to be supportive.

Hi there, I am a 22F (well almost, 22 next week) who is the eldest child to my father 45M. I am my mother’s (45F) only child. My parents divorced when I was young from my dads infidelity and that’s when he got his second wife pregnant with my sister who is currently 15. With his second wife he had my first brother (10M) and with his current/third wife he has my youngest brother (6M). I love my siblings with all my heart and would take care of them in a heart beat. And I love my father and stepmother...but they are having their fifth child, a boy due in April. I am struggling with this as I grew up lower middle class and borderline poor sometimes, ate pasta for most meals at my dads place, watched his second wife financially abuse him by spending savings, my sister always looked like an orphan as she was dressed in dirty clothes all the time...the list goes on. I was saved from this fate as my mom got my everything I needed and most of what I needed-of course with my dads child support. Child support that he struggled to pay. As a 22F I am having to finance my education, pay my bills, and endure soul crushing mental illness...I DONT WANT THAT FOR MY SIBLINGS. I am so angry that my father gave in and is having a fifth child that will only add to the chaos and take resources/attention away from my existing siblings. All of 2019 my stepmother was saying she “needed a baby” and blah blah blah. Never mind the fact that my dad has no retirement, my siblings have no college funds, and they have to be really thrifty with money to make all of their bills. My stepmother told my sister and I we were being selfish saying that we didn’t want another baby in the family...how ironic. My stepmother chose to enter this family but my siblings didn’t. Sorry for the rant I just want to know if other people’s family situation has led them to the anti natalism philosophy? I truly feel that having kids is possibly one of the most selfish things you can do, and is even worse if you already have four kids! via /r/antinatalism https://ift.tt/3o41oC7